Bittersweet
by cozyouknow
Summary: CHAPTER 11: Memories. "So this is Yamanaka Ino. She's very beautiful. This is the girl I had loved for almost 8 years. This is the same girl that I had wanted to be my wife and had almost given my life for. And now, I am back to her."
1. My Bittersweet Prologue

**BITTERSWEET**

_

* * *

"And now, I believe that even if a person loses his memories, even if he does not remember who he loves anymore, what he used to eat or the places he used to go to, if the feelings still remain in his heart, then the memories would gradually come back.  
_

_It's not important what the mind sees, what the mind remembers. I think what's more important is how the heart recalls, how the heart feels."_

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: **My Bittersweet prologue

* * *

It's bright. I strain my eyes, slowly adjusting to the light. It's morning. Sunlight is streaming into the room I am in. I look at my right. There is a lone window there. The scenery outside is unfamiliar. I don't know where exactly I am.

I look around. It is a plain room. Only one window located at my left and a wooden bench on my right, situated along the wall. I lift my right hand, blocking the light coming from the bulb above. Cords are attached to different parts of my body. I am aching all over. I can not even clench my fist. It's disturbingly quiet. Must be in the hospital. I must have gotten into an accident.

And then it sank in.

Who am I?

* * *

It's painful to think. I racked my brains, trying to remember something. Even just my name. Nothing. Nothing is coming on. Like I was drained of all my memories and forced to start anew. Fuck. I don't fucking like this.

Then the door to my right opened. A guy with bright, yellow hair entered. He seemed spaced out. He did not even notice that I was awake now. He sat at the bench beside the door and heaved out a sight. He was clutching a crumpled piece of paper in his right hand. Then he looked up at me. With his cerulean eyes.

Cerulean…

He looked up at me. With his cerulean eyes.

"Sasuke! You're finally awake!"

Ah. Bingo. It was Sasuke. It still is Sasuke.

Sasuke…

The boy with the yellow hair instantly ran towards me and kneeled at my bedside. Anxiety was in his eyes. I noticed that he pocketed the paper that was earlier in his hand.

"Are you alright now? Do you want me to call the doctor or something?"

We seemed close. I made an effort not to snap at him. "No, it's okay….." I decided to ask him.

I turned my head away at him. "Was…was my name…Sasuke?"

I don't want to see how he will react. Damn. I don't want to see his eyes.

"Yeah…Uchiha Sasuke…So the doctor's correct."

"Correct?" I looked at him.

"That there is a high possibility that you'll…get amnesia from the accident…" this time, he was the one who avoided my eyes.

* * *

I was not shocked. I was expecting something like this. I must have been a bad person in the past. To make me deserve something cruel as this.

The cerulean-eyed guy stood up from where he was kneeling. He dusted his shirt off and smiled at me. He was forcing a smile.

"I'll just tell your family that you're awake now." His voice resonated in the room. "See you later." He turned his back at me and was about to leave.

"Wait. What's your name?" I asked.

He stiffened. "Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto." He said without facing me.

"Thank you. Naruto."

There was silence.

And then, "I…." he stammered and brusquely wiped his eyes. He must have been crying. "I'LL DEFINITELY BRING YOUR MEMORIES BACK, SASUKE!"

I was shocked at his outburst.

"So please," he turned to look at me and he smiled. This time it was real. "Hang on until then."

He ran out of the room.

* * *

I later learned from my "family" that I was involved in a car accident. I was driving on the road when I suddenly lost focus of the car and it jerked and circled around. There was a truck going in the opposite direction and my car collided with it.

I was asleep for four days straight. I acquired minor injuries, broken bones, but nothing serious. But my head received all the impact. The doctor said that my life was in no danger whatsoever but I developed a complication or a blood clot in the hippocampus, the part of my brain that plays a crucial role in memory development. There is a 5% chance that I'll regain them, but it would take some time. I will be in therapy for a year to help me remember. My family is betting on that 5% chance. I think they want me to fight and be strong.

Screw them.

_

* * *

A girl._

_A girl._

"_Sasuke." She smiled._

_And laughed._

_Her long hair blowing in the wind._

"_Sasuke." She extended her hand._

_I reached out to her._

"_What's your name?"_

_I asked._

"_It's…"_

_I can't hear her._

_I can't hear her._

_Who is she?_

_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 2** (PREVIEW)

"Even if...even if you can't remember anything anymore...." Her tears spilled down her pretty face.

"I'll always love you. And you should know that...that I have enough memories of you." She tightly clenched my hand where i held the ring the nurse earlier gave me. "Enough," she continued. "Enough for me to share them with you. Forever."

Then I felt it.

She must be the one...

I reached her hair with my left hand. I undid her ponytail and let her locks slip down my fingers. They're smooth...like an angel's. Her hair was dancing in the spectrum of light, in the light of the dusk...

_Her long hair blowing in the wind._

"_Sasuke." She extended her hand._

_I reached out to her._

"_What's your name?"_

_I asked._

"_It's…"_

"It's you." I whispered.

And in that instant, i know.

I need to love her.

**CHAPTER 2:** Silver Ring

_"And oh, I can love you forever if you want..."_


	2. Silver Ring

**BITTERSWEET**

* * *

"_I can not give you the biggest confession in history. It's lazy to prepare. I can not promise you that I will take you to the Eiffel Tower in Paris. That's expensive. I can not promise you that I can produce babies that will be as handsome as Brad Pitt. My genes are not enough."_

"_Then, what can you promise me?"_

"_Let's see. Uhmm. I can give you the silliest and least prepared confession in history. I'm doing it now. I can take you to the highest building here and let you see the lights. It's not that expensive, you just need to wear running shoes. We'll take the stair, you know. And I can produce babies that are handsome as me. My looks are almost the same as Brad Pitt's anyway."_

"_And oh, I can promise to love you forever if you want."_

**

* * *

CHAPTER 2:** Silver Ring

_A girl._

_A girl._

"_Sasuke." She smiled._

_And laughed._

_Her long hair blowing in the wind._

"_Sasuke." She extended her hand._

_I reached out to her._

"_What's your name?"_

_I asked._

"_It's…"_

_I can't hear her._

_I can't hear her._

_Who is she?_

I woke up with a jolt. I've dreamt it again. It's been a week. And I had that dream thrice now.

Knock, knock.

"Can I come in?" A voice said from the outside.

"Uh..."

A nurse entered the room. She was carrying a tray filled with medicines, all balanced on a clipboard. She settled the tray on the wooden bench at my right. She took all the medicines out then checked her clipboard. She was fixing something. And I was watching her.

"You're Uchiha Sasuke, right?" She suddenly asked.

"I…I guess so."

"I learned about your condition from the doctor. Amnesia, isn't it? It's a terrible thing…."

I remained silent. I don't need pity. Especially from people who think that saying 'Oh, it's a terrible thing' was as nonchalant as someone having amnesia.

"Oh by the way!" the nurse exclaimed. She reached out to her breast pocket and pulled a plastic container. There was something shining in it.

"Here." She handed it out to me. "That was yours, I think. They said that you were desperately clutching at that when they found you at the scene of the accident, even when you were brought here. You were still holding that and I was asked to keep it for you. I thought that it was something important to you." I looked up at her and saw that she was smiling. Kindly. But I guess, she was just waiting for me to open it.

I opened the plastic container. And there was a ring inside. A silver ring with 3 diamonds encrusted on the top. It looked expensive to me. I was rich. Ha-ha.

"That's so pretty! Maybe you'll remember something with that." And she smiled that kind smile again. "Thank you." I managed to reply.

"Gosh!" she suddenly jumped. "I still need to deliver those medicines to the next patient! And I haven't given you yours yet!" She quickly ran towards the wooden bench, fumbled with all her things before coming back to me again. She was explaining all these medicines I needed to intake but I was spacing out.

"Bye!" Oh, she was already leaving when I realized that I had not taken anything she had explained. She closed the door behind her, her heels clacking in the hallways.

I was alone again. I twirled the ring around my index finger. I even tried it. It was too small. Like a girl's.

Whose ring was this?

* * *

"Sasuke?"

"Are you awake? Can I come in?" I did not respond but he came in anyway, that dope. I pretended to be asleep. I don't want to be bothered by anyone right now. I held the ring in my hand.

"Sasuke…Sasuke!" he ran towards me and started shaking me. "Sasuke! Sasuke! Answer me!!"

I opened my right eye. "I'm not dead, you dope."

"THANK GOODNESS!" he sounded relieved. Tsk. "And don't call me dope!"

I opened both of my eyes now. "What do you want?" I asked. I looked out of the window. It was already dusk.

"Sasuke," Naruto started, his tone became serious. "I'm gonna introduce someone to you. Or reintroduce her. Wait. I'll just call her."

Her?

Naruto came back with a girl, indeed. "This is…this is..Haruno Sakura. She was…she girl friend."

Fuck.

I looked at the girl. This Sakura. She has a fair complexion. And she has this really long hair tied in a ponytail above her head. Pink. Like cherry blossoms. And she has green eyes. Green, sad eyes.

But I can't feel anything.

Fuck.

"Sakura." I said her name, wondering what it felt like.

She looked surprise. "Y—yes?"

I turned to Naruto. "Are you sure this is my girl friend?" Naruto visibly stiffened. "I can't feely anything. I'm supposed to feel something right?"

"Sasuke!" he shouted. "Why you--!" Sakura stopped him with her hand. "Please." She said. "You shouldn't fight over something like this." I looked at her

"But that bastard!"

"It's..it's okay." She averted her eyes.

I felt guilty.

Then she held my hand. I was surprised. What incredible warmth. So this was how it felt. To be held by a girl. "Sasuke." She gently called out my name. And I turned to her crying face.

Shit, she's crying. She was holding my hands tight. She knelt by my side and kissed my hands. I think we really were lovers.

"Even if...even if you can't remember anything anymore...." Her tears spilled down her pretty face. Her voice was breaking. She looked so fragile. But I don't know what to do.

"I'll always love you. And you should know that...that I have enough memories of you." She tightly clenched my hand where I held the ring the nurse earlier gave me. "Enough," she continued. "Enough for me to share them with you. Forever."

Then I felt it.

She must be the one...

The girl in my dreams.

I reached out to her hair with my left hand. I undid her ponytail and let her locks slip down my fingers. They're smooth...like an angel's. Her hair was dancing in the spectrum of light, in the light of the dusk...

_Her long hair blowing in the wind. _

"_Sasuke." She extended her hand._

_I reached out to her._

"_What's your name?"_

_I asked._

"_It's…"_

"It's you." I whispered.

And in that instant, I know.

I need to love her.

I remembered the ring in my hand; I gently unclasped her hands with mine and handed her the ring. "Here," I said.

She was shocked. "Wha..what is this?"

"The nurse gave it to me earlier, said I was holding that when I had the accident. It seemed very important to me. It was a girl's. This must be yours, right? Cause I mean…we're lovers and everything.." Why am I blushing?

She did not smile nor did she even show a hint that the ring was hers. Instead, she cried again.

Fuck. The ring is not hers. Did I two-time her in the past?

"Wha..what's wrong? Was the ring.." I asked.

"Mmm-hmmm." She shook her head and smiled for the first time since she entered his room. Her smile was pretty. Bittersweet.

She gave me back the ring. She was that I was surprised because she explained. "Please. Will you hold that ring for me? Until…until you get all your memories back..until you learn to love me. At that time, promise to give me the ring, okay?"

I did not understand what she was trying to say. I don't know why, but I agreed anyway.

"Thank you." She stood up and wiped her tears away. I saw that Naruto was also crying beside her. "Why are you crying dope?"

"Nothing…just, nevermind." He replied. "Rest there again, okay? I'll be back. I'll just take her home." I nodded.

I was watching their backs as they were leaving when Sakura spoke again.

"Sasuke…" she said, turning to me. "The ring, it was.."

She smiled that bittersweet smile again.

"It is pretty."

* * *

**CHAPTER 3:** (PREVIEW)

"Sakura."

"Hm?" she looked at me. She was happy now, I see.

"How did...how did I get into an accident? I mean, where was I before the accident? Where was I going?"

She was silent.

"You were.." she replied. "You were proposing to me then.

**CHAPTER 3:** Saccharine Dreams

_"It's true that people can move on. But, you can never erase the fact that only amnesia and death can erase memories."_


	3. Saccharine Dreams

**BITTERSWEET**

_It was raining._

"_I love you!"_

"_What did you say? Sorry, I can't hear you over this rain!"_

"_Tss! I---I won't repeat it anymore! It's your fault you're deaf!"_

"_Oh! So it's now my fault?? Whatever! I'll go inside now! I'm soaaaaking!"_

"_W—wait!!......I love you…"_

"_Hm? Did you say anything?"_

…

"_I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!!"_

…

…

"_No reaction. Tss. Let's go inside!"_

…

"_Sasuke"_

"_What?"_

"_I love you too! But you need to promise me one thing first!"_

…

"_Don't ever leave me. And don't ever, ever forget about me, okay?"_

"_Only amnesia and death can erase memories fool."_

"_I know…but please…. promise me…."_

…

"_I'll die first before I ever forget about you."_

…

"_You know, Sasuke? When you say those kinds of things? You actually seem cool."_

"_Shut up."_

**

* * *

CHAPTER 3:** Saccharine Dreams

"So what can we do now?"

It had been a month since my supposed accident. My wounds were already healed and I can now freely move like….like a normal, healthy human being.

It was early morning. The sun's rays were just starting to seep through the window of this small room. I was in the doctor's clinic. For the first time. And I was with my mother. It was also the first time I have seen her in my current state.

"What we can do now is rehabilitation. Memory loss rehabilitation. This is to help him regain his memories without the slightest bit of incident." The doctor answered my mother's question. I think her name was Tsunade. I looked away from her eyes. They were gentle. But questioning.

My mother and the doctor were still talking about my rehabilitation. I looked around the room. It was just a small room with windows on the right side. Only a cabinet of books can be found in the room. Otherwise, it was plain. And the doctor's table was at the center. The table itself was decorated simply. Files and folders were strewn on it. And there was a picture inserted inside the glass cover of the table. I figured it was a family picture.

"When will his rehabilitation start?" my mother asked.

"Next week, in the least. Are you okay with that, Ma'am?"

"Anything is fine."

* * *

I was outside of the doctor's room before I knew it. The consultation was over and I'll be starting my rehab next week. I was to go back to my room for my medicines. The hallways of the hospital were now familiar to me. But they still seemed empty. Surreal.

And the coldness of the person next to me did not help even a bit.

* * *

"I'll go now. If there has been a problem, tell the receptionist to call me. They have my number there." She said to me. But she was not looking at me. I was like thin air there. Her phone ringed. She answered it. It seemed an important person. More important than me. She was laughing. I wondered. Did I ever make her laugh before? She turned to leave.

"Okaasan." I called after her. I wanted her to recognize me.

She stopped dead in her tracks. Her phone suspended in mid-air. I can hear the voice still talking from the other line. "I'll visit you again when your rehab starts next week." She said. Yet she did not turn around to look at me.

"Hm." I responded.

She was back on the line seconds later. Well, so much for recognition.

"I'm sorry." My mother excused herself over the phone. Her voice sounded distant. She was leaving.

I turned the doorknob. It was better to be alone in my room.

"Yeah. It was my son I was talking to."

She called me her son.

* * *

"_I'm coming in."_

_It was a flower shop. _

_Flowers._

"_Oh Sasuke. What brought you here?"_

_It was a girl._

_With long hair._

"_I brought something for you."_

"_What is it?"_

_Flowers._

"_Pansies? Why pansies?"_

"_You own a flower shop and you don't know why?"_

"_I'm sorry but I sell flowers! Not study them!"_

_Pansies._

"_They signify remembrance. 'You will forever be on my thoughts.'"_

_She smiled._

"_You're so sweeeet!!"_

"_No, that's what the vendor said. I'm just quoting him."_

"_Don't be shy! Come on! It's just the two of us here."_

"_Shut up."_

_Pansies._

_They signify remembrance_

_You will forever be on my thoughts._

_Don't forget about me, okay?_

I woke up. I momentarily closed my eyes again. I was dreaming again. About that girl. Her face was always blurred. But she had long hair. Long, long hair that swayed with the wind.

Who was she?

I slept again. Last thing I remembered I was talking to my mother. I was always sleeping. And I was always dreaming about her. I don't like this.

"You're finally awake."

A girls' voice?

I looked at the source. It was Sakura.

"How long have you been there?" I asked. It was nearing night but she was still here. I looked at her. She was peeling a piece of apple. There was also a basket full of fruits by the wooden bench near the door. She visited me and brought food.

"Not so long ago." She replied with her usual smile. She looked happy. Good for her. She continued to peel the apple. "I'll just leave the fruits here, okay? In the table. You can eat if you want later."

"Hm." I nodded. She was always sweet and kind with me. Was she the girl in my dreams? I wanted to believe it was her. I really wanted to believe it was her. But something was telling me otherwise.

"How do you feel?" she asked. She had always asked this question. Everyday. But it was fine with me. "I'm fine. My mother visited a while ago."

"Obaasan? Really?"

"Why do you seem so surprised?"

She smiled sheepishly. "Nothing really. It's just that. She always seemed busy at work." Actually, I already figured that out myself. I sighed. "Tell me about my family."

She stopped peeling the apple and brought it on a plate at my table. The plate was already loaded with other fruits. She was waiting for me to wake up. How long had she really been here?

"Your family? Let's see." She bit her lower lip. It was cute.

What was I thinking?

"Uhm…Obaasan and Ojiisan are both working. Your family owns the biggest company group here in Japan---"

"So we're filthy rich?" I cut her off. Hah. We're filthy rich.

"More or less." She shrugged. She did not seem to mind me cutting her off.

"Where's my father?" I asked her. Ever since I lost my memories, I still hadn't seen him around.

"Your father? He is in America for a business trip."

"Hm." I'm already 24 they said. Maybe I'm already used to them being away.

Sakura noticed my sudden silence so she immediately changed the topic. "You know? You have a really, really cute sister!!" she gushed, obviously happy at the thought of me having a really, really cute sister.

"I have?"

"Uhmm." She nodded. "And she calls you Sasuke-nii-chan!" she smiled widely.

I just looked at her.

* * *

It was past 9 pm. Sakura had been really talkative. She was answering all my questions about myself. I've asked her numerous times if she wanted to go home already because it's dark by now. And she always declined.

"My house is just near. You don't need to worry about me." She replied.

It's not like I'm worrying or something.

All this time that she was talking, I was barely listening to her. She gave me the impression that I previously lead a happy life. That it was an entire waste to lose all of my memories in just a single incident. But all the while, I noticed that she was not saying something about our 'relationship'. I felt that she was avoiding the topic. And I'm not one to open it up. And besides, there was one question I really would like to ask her. I just don't know when to say it.

She excused herself for a while. She said she needed to go to the bathroom for a while. And I decided that I would ask her the question when she comes back.

* * *

"Sorry." She came back a few minutes later.

"So, do you have any more questions?" she smiled. She had such a sweet smile.

I was silent for a while.

"Sasuke?" I looked at her. There was worry on her face.

"Sakura." I said her name for good measure.

"Hm?" she looked at me. Straight into my eyes. Her green eyes.

"How did...how did I get into an accident? I mean, where was I before the accident? Where was I going?" I couldn't stop asking. I saw her stiffen before me. I know this was a sensitive issue. But heck, I needed to know.

She was silent.

"You were…." she replied. "You were proposing to me then.

I regretted knowing afterwards.

"W—what?" I confirmed. I couldn't seem to believe what I just heard. What was this? A television drama or something?

"You were…proposing…to me.."

"How? I mean, so we're engaged now?"

"No!"

I was surprised by her immediate answer.

"I…I'm sorry. It's just that, you know…it's a sensitive---"

"So when will I know the whole truth?" I was raising my voice. I didn't understand why they have to hide it from me. "Next week? Next month? Next year? When it's not a sensitive topic for you anymore???"

"You should understand!" She was crying again. God, was it so hard to tell me the truth?

"There are things in your past left to be forgotten! Forever!!"

Her cries filled the room. I was silenced. Left to be forgotten? They're hiding something from me.

"Who are you to decide those things?" I snapped at her. I tried hard to erase the anger in my voice. But it was still there.

"You're right." Her voice was shaking. "I'm just nobody in your life." She looked at me. She was having difficulty looking straight at me. "I was always a nobody." She covered her face with her hands and continued to cry. Quietly there. Beside me. She did not walk out. Nor scream at me. She was just crying.

I felt guilty to have shouted at her.

Only her cries filled the room.

"I---" I wanted to apologize. But I don't know how.

"I'm sorry." Sakura apologized. I was shocked.

"No." I said. "I should be the one apologizing here." I looked away. I felt ashamed of myself.

She stopped crying now. "No. It was my fault. I was…I am still not strong enough to tell you the truth. It was my fault I'm weak." She finished with a small laugh. I finally brought myself to look at her and saw her wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Just…just tell me when you're ready. I'll wait." I looked out the window. I don't know but I still can't look at her directly.

"Thank you."

There was a full moon outside.

"I…I better go now." Sakura excused herself. "Hm." I nodded. I was still looking outside of the window. I don't know but I don't want to see her leave. Like this. In this state. And it was my fault. Damn.

I heard the scratching of her chair against the floor. She was, I think, fumbling with her things before finally standing up. She was leaving.

"Sasuke." She called out. I was fighting the urge to glance at her.

"Sweet dreams."

I heard the door closing.

* * *

CHAPTER 4: (PREVIEW)

"Did you send the flowers?" I asked her.

"What flowers?" She apparently had no idea what I'm talking about.

"The pansies. In my room. This morning." The pansies. The same flowers as in my dreams. _"They signify remembrance. 'You will forever be on my thoughts.'" _

"No." she answered. "Maybe it's from a secret admirer." She smiled.

"Maybe." I said. And I remembered the note that accompanied the flowers.

**CHAPTER 4: **A Place to Remember Everything

"_You'll forever be on my thoughts."_


	4. A Place to Remember Everything

**BITTERSWEET**

"_Why are you so afraid that I might forget about you someday? You know that's impossible." I asked her._

"_Unless you get amnesia or something."_

"_I'm not stupid enough to forget my memories."_

_She smiled._

"_It's just that…I'm afraid to be alone. I don't want to be forgotten. Especially by people I love. Like when you have so many memories about that person in your heart. But that person doesn't remember anything about you. It's like you never existed for her."_

"_The brain is defective. Even if it does not remember anything, the heart would always know."_

…

"_Sasuke, that's so cool. But…."_

"_But?"_

"_What if the heart itself chose to forget? That even if the brain says, "I know that person! I have so many memories of her!", the heart continues to insist "I know. But I chose to forget about her."_

_She had tears in her eyes._

"_That would hurt, right?"_

_I called out her name._

"_I…I miss my best friend. We had so many beautiful memories together. But she chose to forget them."_

"_Why?" She looked at me._

"_It's because…we had loved the same person."_

…

"_Who?"_

…

"_Sasuke, you're so dense."_

"_What?" _

**

* * *

Chapter 4:** A Place to Remember Everything

It was the first day of my rehabilitation. Two days ago, I had just gone through a series of tests and scans to determine the exact condition of the brain injury I got. It was a complete blur to me. I had been inside all these scanning machines at once.

"Uchiha Sasuke…" Tsunade-sensei's voice shook me out of my reverie. She was sitting across me behind her table. Oh yeah, I was inside Tsunade-sensei's clinic. The test results had come out today. And based on those results, the doctor will be preparing a suitable cognitive rehabilitation for me. Or so she said.

"You are a very lucky guy."

"What?"

"Firstly, you have, what we call, retrograde amnesia. It's a kind of amnesia where you lose all the memories you have before the traumatic incident happened. In this case, your accident."

My accident. It was strange yet good to hear from her itself the details of my accident. Something that Sakura, Naruto and the others had trouble saying.

"You obtained multiple but minor injuries from the accident. Your car collided with another vehicle on the road. Unfortunately, your head received the over-all impact of the collision. Your MRI scan said," she stood up and fumbled for something attached to the wall. Seconds later, a projection appeared on the wall and she showed me my brain scans.

"Naturally, in traditional amnesia, the brain cells die." She pointed to some part of my brain. "And when this happens, a cure, an entire cure is almost impossible."

It's impossible?

"But as I told you earlier, you are lucky. Since the cause of your amnesia is an accident, chances are, your memory loss is only temporary."

I clenched my right hand. It's only temporary. Somehow, I'm afraid to know my past. _There are things in your past left to be forgotten! Forever!!_

"Gradually, the brain itself will heal. And your memories will come back in no time." She clicked some switch near her and the projection in the wall disappeared. "Also, it is amazing that your cerebellum was not affected in any way. Meaning, your motor skills suck as talking and walking will stay the same." She sat on her chair again. "But you will have problems recognizing some places, things, writings and the like. You need to relearn some things." She intently looked at me. I felt like a little child. Where I have to learn some things again.

"I will only choose your rehabilitation program. I will not be supervising it but I will be checking up on you at times. You will be under cognitive rehabilitation where a specialist will be teaching you how to write, to read, the likes. You don't need speech and motor rehabilitation. And of course, a psychological one. To make sure that you won't encounter some emotional problems."

Psychological? She was saying a while ago that I was even lucky in my state. I felt like a mental patient. Was my condition that severe already?

"The duration of your rehab depends on your progress. And you will be required to stay in the hospital during that time. I will not guarantee your complete memory recovery. It will take months, years even, to recover all the lost memories. I'm not even sure if you will be able to remember all your memories. But there's a chance that even half will come back."

Half? Only?

"And we're betting on that chance, Sasuke." She fell silent for a whole minute.

She looked me straight in the eyes. She had such gentle eyes. Full of comfort. I felt like I can trust her.

"Are you still willing to continue? I can not promise you myself that I will be able to get back your life. But you can always start anew, Sasuke. Even without your past memories." Her look softened. I had the feeling she knew me before. Her concern was genuine. "Are you willing to remember your past? No matter how painful, no matter how sad it gets? You will be starting a new life from now on. You will be learning some things from scratch. You will be meeting new people. You will be loving people you've never loved before. A new life is in general, waiting for you. Regardless of this all, are you willing to get your memories back?" She was waiting for my answer.

I had already decided this long ago. I can't move forward unless I look back.

"Yes. I want to get my memories back."

She smiled. "Thought you would say that."

* * *

"Congratulations on your first day of rehabilitation!!"

What the heck??

Naruto smiled a toothy grin at me.

POP!

Great.

I had just finished the first day of my rehab. It was already afternoon when I came back to my room. And I found Naruto standing by the wooden bench, holding a cone-shaped container with squiggles drawn on it. He pulled something behind the container and it spurted dozens of colorful papers. And he thought it was funny to whisk papers at me.

I don't know what it was called but I know it was a perfectly useless invention.I shook the papers off me and quietly climbed back to my bed, completely ignoring him.

"Hey, hey! Sasuke, don't be so cold to your best friend!!! Come on! I came here all the way from work just to congratulate you on your first day! I even brought this!" He followed me and sat himself on the plastic chair positioned beside my bed. He was waving that thing in front of my face but I just turned my back on him.

"Sasuke? Sasuke?" he poked my ribs. He's irritating. I wanted to rest and sleep.

"Who asked you to come here anyway?" I sat up.

"No one. It's called will!" he smiled stupidly again.

Silence. I was about to lie down again when he spoke. "Ne, ne Sasuke." Naruto's tone turned serious.

He paused for a while before speaking again. "What did the doctor say?" He looked sideways when he said that. Like he was embarrassed to even ask the question.

It took me a while to respond. "It's okay if you don't---"

"The doctor said that there's a chance my memories will come back."

"Really?" he suddenly stood up and bent next to me, his hands on my bed.

"Uhmm...but there is no guarantee that I will recover all my memories. It could also take years." Naruto sat again. He did not reply for a few seconds so I looked at him. He was smiling while running his hands through his hair.

"Why are you smiling dope?"

"Haha." He gave a small laugh.

"What?" I snapped at him.

"Because I believe that if it is you Sasuke, you'll quickly recover! I'm sure of it! Everything will be alright in the end." then he flashed me a thumbs-up sign. What was the meaning of that? Thumbs-up…

"So Sasuke." He continued. "Please don't give up. Let's remember your memories together!"

Somehow, Naruto's words made my chest feel lighter. What was this feeling? A happy kind of feeling. I already decided that I'll continue to remember my memories. But his words made me sure of it myself.

"I know. You don't have to tell me."

He smiled.

I've been wanting to ask Naruto about my dreams. I mean, he should know about the long-haired girl. Or the flower shop. Or he could help me identify the meaning. Whatever he could do.

But I feel like he will be lying. I've already known, from my last conversation with Sakura, that they're hiding something from me.

"I want to ask you something."

"What?" Naruto asked.

Straight to the point, I raised the question. "Is there someone here who owns a flower shop?" I looked at him to see his reaction.

And he stiffened.

"F---Flower shop? Why?" he swallowed.

"Nothing special. I just kept dreaming about it." I decided not to mention the long-haired girl.

"Uhh..haha." he laughed awkwardly. "No. There's…there's no flower shop here. In this town."

Naruto was not good at lying.

"Are you sure?" I asked again. I cannot hide the suspicion in my voice. I know he noticed this.

"Absolutely." Without hesitation.

"Thank you." I looked away. The gratitude was sincere though I knew that Naruto was lying. Yet a part of me still wanted him to. I don't want him to say yes. Rather, I was afraid if he said yes. I was afraid to know who owns it. I'm weak. Damn. I clenched and unclenched my fists. I'm afraid to know the truth.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The chairs screeched against the floor. "SASUKE!" Naruto shouted.

I was surprised that he suddenly shouted. I found him standing beside my bed. What now?

"Let's…let's do the Sasuke-Naruto Oath of Friendship!!!"

I gaped at him.

Oh shit.

"Come on! I'll teach you the Sasuke-Naruto Oath of Friendship! Let's rekindle the fires of our friendship!!"

I sighed. "Don't wanna." I lied down in my bed and turned my back to the stupid dope.

"Sasuke! You used to do this with me!" Naruto urged.

"You're lying."

"I'm not. We used to clasp our hands like this like we are thumb-wrestling then we recite---"

I did not even bother to see what he was doing or let him finish what he's about to do. "That is stupid."

Naruto was silent.

For a second there, I thought he got offended.

"You used to say that also." His voice broke.

I could say, even though I'm not looking, that he was smiling.

And he was crying again.

I smiled despite of myself.

* * *

I woke up to the smell of flowers.

Flowers?

I fully opened my eyes and the smell of flowers filled the room. They're fragrant. I scanned the room to look. And there they were. Sitting on the wooden bench. A bouquet of flowers.

I stood up, fumbling a little before I finally walked to the bench. I held the bouquet in my hand. The flowers itself were small. They're colored violet. And there were some lines and streaks on the petals from the center. And a small yellow bud can be seen at the middle of each. They were…beautiful.

Who could this be from?

Then I saw a white thing peeking from the flowers. I got it and saw that it was a small card. I flipped it open to see if it contained a name. There was none.

However, there was something else written on it.

"You….you…a—are.."

Damn! I can't read it.

I tried to scan the note again but it was no use. It's useless.

"Oh! You're awake now." I was shaken out of my trance when the nurse opened the door. She peeked from the outside. "Ohayou. I'll be bringing your breakfast upstairs, okay? Just wait here."

Before she can close the door, I asked her. "Do you….do you know who sent the flowers?" I slightly raised the bouquet in my hand.

Please know.

"Oh. Those flowers?" she completely opened the door to see. "Uhm…" I could see that she was thinking, her forehead crumpled in deep thought. Maybe she did not notice it. I was ready to give up when she answered.

"I remember it!" she smiled. "When I arrive at the hospital, since I was the first nurse to do so, the guard outside handed that to me." She pointed at the bouquet. "Said that the giver requested him to deliver the flowers to an Uchiha Sasuke. It was a girl, he said. But…" her smile turned to a crease, realizing her blunder. "I don't know who exactly it was…..from. I'm so sorry!!" she bowed down her head. Her sorry was genuine. But she made me believe, for a moment there, that she knew.

"It's okay." I replied. I laid the bouquet on the bench again while still holding on to the card. The nurse could tell that she somehow disappointed me and she tried to cheer me up. "The flowers are pretty!" I don't need her words. But then, she continued.

"I never thought pansies could be this beautiful up-close."

I looked at her. "Pansies?"

_Pansies._

"_They signify remembrance. 'You will forever be on my thoughts.'"_

She nodded, grateful, I think, that I recovered quickly. "The flowers are called pansies. It's the first time I have seen one. I think they are only sold at high-class flowers shops or somewhere."

Flower shop?

Since the nurse was being helpful, I decided to use this fully. "Do you know of any flower shop in this town?"

"Flower shop?"

I nodded.

She smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry but I just moved here so I really don't know the places and stuff."

And I thought she was being helpful. "Thank you." I muttered.

* * *

"Okay Sasuke! Very good. Our session ends now." Shizune, the person who facilitates my rehabilitation, said while keeping away the materials we used. She taught me about the basics of Japanese language. But I already knew most of it even before the session.

"Sasuke!" I recognized the voice immediately.

"Oh. Is that your girlfriend?" Shizune asked, smiling.

I looked around and found Sakura at the door, smiling and waving at me.

"Not really." I muttered before standing up.

We were in a hospital corridor, sitting on a metal bench outside my rehabilitation room. Ours was overlooking the outside scenery. I've always stayed here after the session. It was a change from the usual scene at my own room.

"So…how's rehab?" Sakura asked, breaking the silence between us.

I shrugged. "Fine."

I regretted my monotonous, disinterested reply after.

"Did you send the flowers?" I asked her.

"What flowers?" She looked at me. She apparently had no idea what I'm talking about.

"The pansies. In my room. This morning." The pansies. The same flowers as in

my dreams. _"They signify remembrance. 'You will forever be on my thoughts.'" _

"No." she answered. "Maybe it's from a secret admirer." She smiled.

"Maybe." I said. And I remembered the note that accompanied the flowers.

Maybe it contained the name of the sender. Or even a clue. Anything.

And I can't fucking read it.

I clenched my hands which rested atop the bench.

"I'm sorry." Sakura suddenly said.

"What for?"

"For breaking down the last time we talked."

"It's nothing really."

The trees outside were already shedding their leaves. What was this season called again? I can't remember it. Shizune mentioned it earlier.

"You know Sasuke?"

I looked at her. But she was not looking at me.

"We were both high school seniors when we first met a few years ago. You were studying at a prestigious school outside of town. And I was in an all-girls school." Her eyes twinkled at the memory.

I was surprised. This was the first time she talked about something in the past that concerned the both of us.

"It was…it was raining then. I was waiting for my…best friend at the bus stop when you arrived. Soaking wet. But you don't seem to care. And I was afraid to offer you my umbrella though I really, really wanted. You looked so scary. I thought you're just gonna ignore me." She finally looked at me. And smiled her bittersweet smile again. She was genuinely smiling.

"And then you said…'You. Can I share your umbrella?' I was surprised but I agreed. You took the umbrella from my hand and offered to hold it for both of us. We were just there, both waiting for something. Not talking in the rain. Both total strangers to each other." She paused for a while before continuing again.

"I don't know what came to me but I said, 'You know it will rain. Why didn't you bring an umbrella?' And you did not reply. I was embarrassed and irritated at the same time. I thought, this guy was full of himself! The bus came and he handed my umbrella back."

I can imagine what she was saying now.

"But you know Sasuke?" she continued. "Before climbing onto the bus, you said, 'If I had brought my umbrella with me, would you have talked to me?'"

Silence filled the space between us.

That was how we first met. A few years back. I can easily picture the scene in my mind. But I can't really remember the exact things. I'm not feeling anything. Like it did not happen.

"I'm sorry. But I can't remember."

I was afraid she would cry. Although she did. But she was also smiling. "I know. I know." She said.

Her hands were trembling on top of the bench. She tried to keep it steady.

"Please tell me if you already remember it, okay?"

I don't know if this was the right thing to do here but I held her hand. I gripped at it to refrain it from shaking. This was the least I could do. I always make her cry.

She was clearly surprised by what I have done. Her hand stopped trembling and laid there, her fingers linked through mine. It was a sweet feeling.

"Please…don't give up on me." I said.

"Uhm." She nodded happily.

I remember the name of that season now. I think it was autumn.

Rebirth. The season of rebirth.

* * *

CHAPTER 5: (PREVIEW)

"You're my firstborn. My only son. The future heir of the company. Of course, I would be disappointed by this..sudden amnesia of yours. How could you take over the company in your condition?"

My father was standing across me, his face stern, showing no signs of concern. Or whatever. He was pacing the room.

"Really! You always give me---"

"Sasuke-niichan!! Help me!"

Aya. It was Aya's scared voice.

"Aya." I muttered under my breath.

I ran out of the room.

**CHAPTER 5: **Going Back Home

_"It's so strange. I can't remember these places. I don't know these things. But I feel like, I had known them my whole life."_


	5. Going Back Home

**BITTERSWEET**

* * *

"_I'm nervous! What if your family doesn't like me?"_

"_Probably. After all, your family only owns a flower shop."_

"_Well, I'm sorry for being poor, bastard! Why did you still bring me here then?"_

…

"_Even if they don't like you, I do."_

**

* * *

CHAPTER 5:**Going Back Home

"You're nervous?"

"I'm not."

"Why are you fidgeting in your seat?"

"Shut up."

I was inside Tsunade-sensei's office. My rehab session today was cancelled because my family requested to take me out of the hospital. At first, Tsunade-sensei was hesitant in letting me go. And I was also wishing she would not agree. But since it was just for a day, she figured out it wouldn't "hurt that much to let Sasuke see some sunshine."

Screw her.

"Sasuke," she said, twirling a pen around her fingers. "It's your family we're talking about here. Have you ever met them before?"

I shook my head. "Only my mother."

"Figures." She put the pen down. "You'll be meeting the rest of your family now. And I believe you will also go back to your home. Good, isn't it?" There it was again. I felt like she really knew me, not just as a doctor, as someone else.

"Not really." I looked sideward. I don't really care much about meeting them. Or going back home.

"Sasuke," I looked at her. "Try to remember something okay? Don't block out your feelings. They're your family. Above everything, they matter the most." She slumped into her chair, her eyes closed. "Just because your first meeting with your mother did not turn out as you expected, it doesn't mean that the rest of your family will be as cold as her."

I snorted. "What do you know?"

She opened both of her eyes and peered at me. "In your condition, I know lots, lots, lots more than you do." She smiled.

Old hag.

"Oh. You're wearing new clothes today Sasuke. You look good!"

"Shut up."

* * *

Minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I suddenly jerked and the old hag saw it. She smiled teasingly before standing up. Tsunade-sensei opened the door and peeked outside. She talked to somebody outside. But I can't hear what they were talking about.

I looked down and my hands felt cold and clammy. I'm not nervous. I just don't know how to act in front of the people that have cared for me in the past. I don't know how to respond so that I might not hurt them. I don't know how to treat them as family. I don't know how to love them back.

My hands were shaking.

"Sasuke." The old hag smiled at me. "Your family's here."

I clenched my fist to stop the shaking.

* * *

Shizune escorted me outside of the hospital. I've never went outside before. The vicinity was full of trees shedding their leaves. It's unbelievable that this is even a hospital.

There was a car waiting beside the foyer. It was a black, long car. And there was an old man waiting beside it. He was dressed in an all-black outfit with a white top underneath. Kind of like a butler or something.

"Good luck Sasuke." Shizune pat my shoulders gently. She was always a gentle woman, as opposed to that old doctor.

"You'll do fine, okay?"

"Uhm." I nodded. I mumbled my thanks to her.

She bowed to the man and disappeared completely into the hallways. Until I could not hear her footsteps anymore.

I was alone now. With these people I don't know.

"Ouji-sama." The man called my attention. He bowed respectfully. "I am your driver for today. I'm also the main butler of the household. You can just call me Kaito if you like." He looked at me and smiled. His eyes looked old and weary, but nonetheless, happy. How could be so happy in his job as a driver? As a servant?

As if he read my mind, he spoke. "I've been in your family's service for 30 years now, long before you were born." He smiled again, a little too knowingly. 30 years? My opinion on him changed slightly when I heard this. I bowed back.

He motioned me into the car. The car looked sleek. I wondered if this car was the family car. Or maybe not. Maybe it was just one of the properties my family has.

I reached out for the door handle.

"Sasuke-niichan!!"

A girl suddenly came out from the car and toppled me off my balance.

Sasuke-niichan??

Shit.

I was on my back with this girl on top of me. I noticed that people around were already staring. "Get off me." I hissed.

"Oh!" She sounded surprised. "Oh…I'm so sorry niichan. Guess I got carried away." She stood up and wiped the dust from her skirt. I also stood up, carefully regaining my balance back. I looked down on her with stern eyes. But she just smiled at me.

"Who are you?"

It was like she was expecting this question because her expression did not change or even twitch one bit. She inhaled deeply before speaking. "I'm Uchiha Aya." She curtsied. She suddenly became well-behaved. "I'm 12 years old. And I'm your little sister, Sasuke-niisama"

"Little sister?" I repeated.

"Little sister." She confirmed.

I must have looked blank to her. "Kaito." She turned to our driver. Her personality suddenly changed. "He really doesn't remember anything! I don't want him!" she wailed.

This brat…is my sister? And she doesn't want me? I arched my eyebrows at her but she didn't seem to notice. Or mind.

"Ojou-sama." Kaito spoke with his gentle eyes. "I already told you this before. Ouji-sama has a hard time remembering things for now. But if you will help him, I'm sure he'll remember everything in no time." He looked at me. I was surprised. "It's not important what the brain remembers, what's more important is how the heart feels." He smiled at me.

Aya looked a little doubtful. "Then," Aya held my hand and beckoned me to the car. She has the same eyes as me, cold and deep. But they stood in comparison with her cheery smile. "Sasuke-niichan, I will be your guide for this day. We'll be going back home!"

Home. A word so distant yet so familiar for me.

Home.

I'm going back home.

* * *

"Why are we driving so slowly?"

Aya, who was sitting beside me in the back of the car, faced me upfront. "Niichan," she stressed the word. "This is the road we, you travel on everyday! Common sense is you look around past all these houses and shops and try to remember them." It was like she was explaining to a ten-year-old.

I did not respond to her. I just looked outside. Even though what she said was true, I still could not remember anything. Not a single tree. It's so strange. I can't remember these places. I don't know these things. But I feel like, I had known them my whole life.

I remembered what Kaito said earlier. _"__It's not important what the brain remembers, what's more important is how the heart feels."_

But how long would it take me to remember even a single street in this town? Days? Week? Months? Years even?

Moments later, "Ne, niichan." Aya prodded me. "You haven't said a single word to me since earlier. Just a stoic 'who are you?'. You're still as cold as ever." I continued to ignore her so she just slumped on her chair, dejected. She crossed her arms, her forehead creased.

"It's not fair." She complained. "I took the effort of volunteering to fetch you at the hospital and you don't even want to talk to me."

I decided that I will continue to ignore this brat for the rest of the trip but I caught Kaito looking at me from the rearview mirror. I sighed. "Sorry." I mumbled.

I looked at my sister and her expression was still the same. "I'm sorry." I said a little louder this time.

I'm getting pissed. I just wanted to be free from Kaito's stare. "Look," I was searching for the right words. "I…I was just confused and all with what's happening." I scratched my head. "I'm sorry, Aya."

She suddenly looked at me. "What did you just call me?"

Did I hear her name wrong???

Suddenly, she jumped from her seat and hugged me, clinging on my neck tightly. "H-hhey." I protested. I could not control this person. And her constant mood swings.

"I love you niichan!!"

"What?"

From the driver's seat, Kaito spoke. "Ojou-sama, please stay down. Ouji-sama is being suffocated." Aya unlocked herself from me and resumed her seat. She was smiling as hell.

"I'm so sorry Kaito." She looked at me and I cringed. She was back to her cheery self again. "I'm so sorry niichan. It's just that…" she paused a little while.

"This is one of the rarest times you called me by my name. And when I heard about your memory loss, I was seriously afraid that I would never hear you say my name again. But I was wrong." She smiled.

I looked away. At least there is a person in my family who genuinely cares about me.

* * *

"I present to you, Sasuke-niisama, the Uchiha Main House."

It's...freaking big.

* * *

We entered the house. It was…expensively and elaborately decorated with furnishings I don't know of. Looks old. Aya told me to wait for her then she ascended the giant staircase at the middle. With wooden handles. A lot of surreal paintings adorned the old walls.

Kaito noticed me looking at the paintings. "Your mother painted all that."

"My mother?" I was surprised. She did not look much like an artist.

"Yes, Ouji-sama. She was a painter before becoming a businesswoman. Your father influenced her into the corporate world."

My father. "Is he here?" I can't help but asking. This will be the first time, if ever, that I'll meet him. I gulped.

"Yes. He and ojou-sama came home just to see you."

I looked around the paintings to be away from Kaito. Ever since I met him earlier, I was not comfortable with him. He was just too gentle but too knowing for me.

A painting on the east wing caught my attention. It was a contrast from the others because the picture here was so vivid, not abstract like the others. It was so simple. And yet so striking. I touched it, ran my hand through it. It was so familiar. The touch, the sight, everything. Almost like I have painted it myself.

I was entranced by the painting but I quickly withdrew my hand. It has this sad aura.

"Where's my mother?" I asked Kaito. I wanted to ask her about this painting.

"She's outside, I presume. In the gardens."

"The gardens?"

Suddenly, an image formed in my mind. Of a little boy and a lady in a beautiful garden.

"Would you like me to escort you there?" Kaito inquired, disturbing my thoughts.

I shook my head. "I think I'll manage." He bowed. "Ouji-sama, I'll just call you when it's time for lunch."

"Thanks." I said. He went to a room on my left and I was left alone in the house. Frankly, I don't know where the gardens are. But I think I can remember it.

* * *

The lot outside the Main House was big. It was like a park in itself. Trees crowded the vicinity. There was a lake in the northeast surrounded by tall grasses. The lake looked so deep and wide. How big is this lot? It was easy to be lost here.

I don't know where I'm going but my feet seemed to move on their own. I was walking like a phantom, tracing my steps yet knowing where specifically to go. I went to my left and I noticed a rock trail ahead. Whether this pointed to the gardens or not, I'm not sure.

I was endlessly walking; my steps came to a run. It was like I was possessed by something and I could not stop myself. I knew now where to go. I think I was remembering it. The gardens. A little boy and a lady. I was always here when I was a child. Blurred images raced in my head until they all became vivid. A canvass. Colors. Grasses. Flowers. Butterflies. Me. My mother.

"Sasuke?"

I was already in the gardens.

* * *

"What happened to you? You look so tired."

I was catching my breath. I ran from the house to here, guided by my memories of this place. And it was exactly as I imagined it. Tall grasses. Lots of flowers. Butterflies hovering.

And my mother.

A canvass was placed at the middle. My mother was sitting on a stool with a palette on hand. Colors. She was painting. A mesh of colors was already painted. It was not yet finished. But it was already beautiful. Enigmatic.

My mother resumed her painting when I did not answer her. "You came early. I did not expect you until lunch." It was the greatest contrast of all. The lady across me spoke in a businesslike, unconcerned tone. But the very image of her now was tender. She was dressed casually, painting.

"Your paintings are beautiful." I muttered.

"They're hideous."

I was surprised by her disgust of her own works. "What made you say that?"

"Nobody appreciates them." She made a long stroke with her brush. Firm.

"I…I do." I was shy to admit it.

Her brush was held in midair. She seemed surprise by my confession. She finally looked at me and her expression softened. It was the first time I saw her smile. But it was a split second only. She quickly went back to her painting.

She was quiet for a while so I decided to speak first. "You…you said that you'll go to the first day of my rehab. But you didn't." I realized that I sounded like a wimp.

"Why? You were nervous or something?"

"Not really."

"I was busy. And besides, if it's you, you just snap at everybody, throw glares at every person, and you're already fine."

She knew me, she knows me. Mother. I felt good inside, I don't know why. I just gained the appreciation and recognition of this cold lady with me. Of all the people I have met since the accident, this was the first time I had actually enjoyed talking to them.

Well, except Sakura.

"If nobody likes your paintings, why place them around the house?"

She took a while before answering. "You should know the answer to that."

Then a scene formed in my mind. A lady. A little boy. In this same garden. I tried hard to remember. They were talking. I can hear them. Little by little.

_"Everyone should appreciate your paintings, okaa-sama…it's not enough that it's only me who can see their beauty."_

_"Okaa-sama…"_

_"Okaa-sama!"_

_"Okaa-sama."_

_"Thank you, Sa—"_

"I did?" I remembered it now! I was the one who put the paintings around the house.

"It seems that every little boy," she said this slowly. "Has a soft spot for his mother."

A bell rang overhead. My mother stood up from her stool. "It's time for lunch, Sasuke."

The painting was finished. It was a rainbow.

* * *

We were inside a big hall, for dining. Same furnishings as the entrance hall. A very long dining table was on the center. Aya took my hand and motioned me to a chair at the very end of the table. "This is where you are supposed to sit. This is where you always sit." She whispered to me. I sat down. My sister was on my right side. My mother was on the other end of the table, situated as the same position as my sister. The seat opposite to mine at the other end was empty. It was my father's, I assumed.

"Goshujin-sama." Kaito's voice bellowed in the hall. All the maids bowed down. Mother and Aya also stood up and gave respect. I was still sitting. I craned my head to see who was coming.

A man dressed in a suit entered the hall. He commanded respect with only his aura. He wore a stern look on his face. He did not even show recognition to the people he passed by. Instead, he looked straight at me. Maybe I was also supposed to stand and salute him. But my legs felt weak. I could not stand up. I was weak under his stare.

Aya nudged me, her head still bowed. "Give respect to Otou-sama, niichan." She hissed. I looked around and figured that they were all waiting for me to stand up. Without breaking gaze with my father, I stood up and bowed a little. He finally sat down. We all followed.

My sister murmured. "Niichan, what's up with you?"

"Nothing." I answered back.

This was my father.

Across the hall.

He was so near to me but he felt so distant.

This commanding, imposing man was my father.

I could not help but feel hatred for him.

The lunch was being served. It was a quiet meal.

* * *

"Do you want to play?" Aya asked me after the meal. We stood up from the table. I was in no mood to fool around. I felt like I was humiliated by his stare at lunch a while ago. "No." I answered.

"Niichan!" Aya spoke a little too loud. "No fair! You're being a---"

"Aya." My father also stood up from the table and was approaching us. I was about to go when I felt my sister stiffen beside me. I won't leave her alone with this man. "Y—yes, otou-sama?"

"I want to talk with your brother. You can play with him later." It was a simple request. I actually hoped that Aya would disobey. But she agreed immediately.

"Yes!" She went out of the hall, running.

I glared at my father. Aya looked so scared of him. They almost seemed like strangers.

"Come." He commanded. I wanted to answer 'I don't want' but my legs moved otherwise. I found myself following him. Before going out, I caught my mother's glance.

It was of worry.

* * *

We went upstairs. The second floor was much simpler than downstairs. A hallway

full of rooms. There were no paintings here. Just mirrors. Of various sizes. This house is weird. I passed one and looked at my reflection. My hair was all messed up. And for the first time, my eyes depicted worry and…fear?

I looked at the man walking in front of me. This was supposed to be my father. But I can't help but feel scared. My heart was thumping like mad. I gritted my teeth. I was nervous. I swallowed.

My mother was right. If I feel nervous, all I needed to do were to snap at everybody and throw them glares.

I could do that.

But not to this man.

* * *

It was a beautiful room. The furnishings and decorations were the same with the ones downstairs. All the rooms were, I think, decorated in the same way. But the room itself was bare. Only a table and a cabinet of books contrasted with the emptiness. My father moved to the window in the back of the room. I could see the whole lot of the house from here. The gardens, everything.

"Sasuke." He turned to look at me.

I was fixed to the spot. I tried looking at him with the same way his stare was fixing me to the ground. But I can't.

Fuck.

He paced around the room then he began talking. "Our family owns the largest group of companies here in Japan, the Uchiha Group that is. We own a chain of hotels, restaurants, factories, hospitals, resorts among others. Our company also has a bank in Europe." He looked at me. "To say that we are on the top of the food chain is not an understatement. The country is at our mercy." He was talking fast but silent.

"Why are you telling me this?" I finally spoke.

"The media covered your accident. I had to pay a lot of money so that your accident wouldn't be publicized. We even own the hospital you're in. In short, nobody knows of what happened to you. The whole of Japan was fooled into thinking that you are out of the country for a business trip."

"So?" I had the nerve to ask.

"So." His tone became more serious. "The company needs an heir. Someone from Uchiha to take over the company. Someone that could continue the legacy that I started."

I knew where this is coming.

"When you turned 24 a few months ago, the media feasted on the shown agreement between the two of us. That in a year's time, you, at the ripe age of 25, would be the heir to the company. That you would be a potent magnate at your young age." I did not like how he stressed at the word 'young'.

"And look at what happened to you now. Can't even remember your own name."

It was the first time I have ever hated someone this much.

"I think I just shattered your dreams for me." I smiled. I couldn't let him see my indignation.

My father smiled, more menacing that mine. "It's not only my dreams. If you will be so kind to remember, you yourself approached me a year ago and told me that you are now ready to take over the company. That you're willing."

I snorted. "I must have been a very boring person there." His mouth twitched so I pushed him further. "Sorry to disappoint you but I can't remember." I was determined to outdo him, to catch him off-guard.

"You're right. I'm disappointed."

I was surprised. So much for catching him off-guard.

He looked at me firmly. "You're my firstborn. My only son. The future heir of

the company. Of course, I would be disappointed by this…sudden amnesia of yours. How could you take over the company in your condition?"

My father was now standing across me, his face stern, showing no signs of concern. Or whatever. He was pacing the room.

"You still have the nerve to answer me. You only have 8 months to get you're your damn memories back!" His voice rose. I wanted to punch his ego then and there. "Really! You always give me---"

"Sasuke-niichan!! Help me!"

Aya. It was Aya's scared voice. It came from outside.

"Aya." I muttered under my breath. I turned to leave.

"Wait Sasuke! Don't you dare turn your back at your father!"

I faced him. "Father?"

Aya was waiting for me.

"Sorry. I can't remember you."

I ran out of the room.

* * *

"Ouji-sama. I have heard ojou-sama's voice. Where are you---"

"I'm going to where she is."

"Can you find your way there?" Kaito called out. I was barely out of the house.

I stopped for a while. "Of course." I answered. "I live here."

* * *

I followed her voice and it led me to the lake. Just like earlier in the gardens, it was like something was attracting me here.

I emerged out of the trees and saw Aya drowning in the lake. The lake, in this close-up view, was so wide. I could hardly believe that we own this. That we have this in a backyard. Normal families shouldn't have these things.

"Niichan! Help me!!"

"Idiot!" I shouted. "What are you doing?" I extended my hand to her but I could not reach her. She was already far.

She was struggling with speaking. "I got you flowers before you leave. And I kind of slipped." She even laughed.

"Idiot." I hissed. I cannot reach her. And I don't know if I can freaking swim. If worse comes to worst, they would have to save both of us.

A plank. Some wood. Something for her to reach.

"Wait." I called out to her. "I'll get something."

I ran. I remembered we have a storage shed here somewhere. It was a small room. How I remembered it I don't know. I smiled despite of the situation.

And there it was, among the bushes, a separate room for storage. Like a small barn. I was correct. I remembered it. I knocked open the door and various tool sheds were there. I searched for a wooden plank or anything long so I can reach her. And I got a shovel. A long one. This can do it.

* * *

"Reach this!" I called out to her and extended the shovel. Aya was struggling to reach it. Just a little more. I knelt down and almost reclined so she can grab the shovel. "Grab it!"

She finally got a hold of the shovel. "Hold on!" I pulled her towards land. We were both dirty but she was wet.

"Are you ok?" I asked her after I caught my breath. For a moment, I thought she was going to cry. She hugged me. "Niichan! I thought I was going to die!"

I pat her head. "Idiot." I whispered.

I like it here.

With my family.

* * *

It was already afternoon when Tsunade-sensei called at the house. She said that it's time for me to go back to the hospital. I was already outside of the house, the car and Kaito were already there waiting for me. I had a change of clothes before going back.

"Niichan!" Aya called out to me.

"What?"

"Here." She handed me some wet-looking flowers. "Those were the ones I picked earlier. I'm sorry if they're a bit wet." She smiled sheepishly.

"They're wet." I replied.

"I told you that already."

"Goodbye niichan!" she moved back a little then waved at me. I pocketed the flowers she gave me. Kaito opened the door for me and I was about to go inside when I saw my mother standing in the hallway in the shadows. She was looking at me in a way I could not place. I gave her a small wave. And she waved back.

I closed the doors. We were out of the house in a moment.

And I never saw my father again.

* * *

We were in the car. I was silent. I have just met my family. And I was kind of happy and light-hearted. I got the flowers Aya gave me and I smiled in remembrance.

Flowers.

Flower shop.

"Kaito."

"Yes, ouji-sama?"

"Do you know of a flower shop here in town?"

I waited for his answer.

"Yes. There's one. Actually, it's the only flower shop here in town."

Naruto was obviously lying and hiding something when he confirmed that no flower shop existed here.

"Why?" Kaito asked me.

I reclined in my seat and looked out of the windows. "Could you take me there?"

"Yes, ouji-sama."

I have just recovered some of my memories at my home. It won't hurt to remember some more.

**

* * *

CHAPTER 6** (PREVIEW)

I entered the shop. Racks and racks of different flowers were displayed. It was exactly what it looked like in my dreams.

The only thing missing was the long-haired girl.

"Hello." I called out. "Is anyone here?"

The feeling was strange. To be able to see your dreams in full colors. In reality.

"Hello!" I called out again.

Maybe no one's here. Or they're closed already.

I was about to go when the bells rang. And from one of the doors beside the counter, a girl came out. "I'm sorry. But we're closing. You could come tomorrow."

It was not her.

**CHAPTER 6: **Sad Truths


	6. Sad Truths

**BITTERSWEET**

* * *

"_Because I fell in love with you!"_

"_So? What's next after falling in love?"_

"_There's no next! I'll just continue to fall in love with you! Forever."_

…

"_You're wrong Sasuke."_

…

"_After falling in love...a person falls out of love."_

**

* * *

CHAPTER 6:** Sad Truths

* * *

Kaito stopped the car in a corner. It was dusk already and we had to go back at the hospital before nightfall. "This is it." He said. The only flower shop in town.

I came down from the car and found myself standing before a small flower shop. The exterior was not familiar to me. Paneled glasses adorned the shop. The inside can be seen from where I was standing.

I entered the shop. Racks and racks of different flowers were displayed. It was exactly what it looked like in my dreams. The same interior. I looked up. Even the ceiling looked the same. A door was behind the counter. Bells hang atop it.

It was weird.

The only thing missing was the long-haired girl.

I swallowed. "Hello." I called out. "Is anyone here?"

The feeling was strange. To be able to see your dreams in full colors. In reality. To be able to see your past unfold in your present.

Somehow, I was dreading my past. But I know that I needed to come through with this.

"Hello!" I called out again.

Maybe no one's here. Or they're closed already. I felt relieved in a way.

I was about to go when the bells rang. And from one of the doors beside the counter, a girl came out. "I'm sorry. But we're closing. You could come tomorrow." She said with the most welcoming smile ever.

I looked at her.

Although I don't really know how the girl in my dreams looks like, I can feel it.

It was not her.

* * *

I just kept looking at her, thinking that this was all wrong. I wanted to ask her. Something. Anything. But how could you tell a stranger that this same shop had been appearing in your dreams lately?

The girl's expression of welcoming turned to doubt. "M—may I help you?" she asked reluctantly.

I finally had the strength to turn my eyes away. I wanted to leave right then and there. But I did not want to admit to myself that I was wrong.

"Do you…do you own this flower shop?"

It was obvious that she was surprised by the question. But she answered it nonetheless. "Yes. My family owns it."

"And…." I felt stupid even asking it. "Do you have…a sister...or any of that sort?" It was my only hope.

I can't read her next expression. "N-nno. I don't, I don't have one." She did not meet my eyes when she said this. "Why?"

"Nothing." I muttered. "Never mind." It was hopeless.

I said my thanks then I hurriedly walked away from her. I could feel her eyes on me. But I did not care.

I was wrong. It was wrong of me to even put some meanings to my strange dreams. I felt angry that I became vulnerable. That even or a moment there, I believed that I could discover a huge part of my past in here.

I believed I would remember.

Fuck.

I went out of the shop and into the car. Kaito must have noticed my expression because he did not ask anything. He just simply drove away. Away from the shop. Away from my dreams. Away from everything that has ever bothered me.

There was a sign on top of the shop. It said 'Yamanaka's Flower Shop'.

I fucking don't care anymore.

* * *

The entire ride to the hospital was silent. I was angry. At myself. For being so dependent on the dreams. For even believing that those fucking dreams could tell me something.

I gave my respects to Kaito before heading out. I could tell that he was worried but I don't need his worry now.

The hospital was the same as it had always been. Dreary. Sad. And for the first time since I woke up two months ago, I felt the impact of the amnesia to my life. I wouldn't know which ones to believe. Like I'm living a lie right now. All the facts about me, I had known from someone else. And just when I thought I could finally get a huge amount of my past back, the sad truth hits me.

I collapsed in the hallway. I clutched my head. Everything that I had been doing was ruined. I felt like I wanted to give up. It was sad to not remember anything. It was painful to think of a way to remember everything.

"Nii-san?" A girl of about 10 years old called out to me. I looked up and saw her beaded eyes on me. Her hair was curly brown and she was small. She was years younger than Aya. "Go away." I hissed under my breath. I was in no mood to play with children.

She just stood there, looking at the grown man that I was. She kneeled in front of me, her expression unchanging.

"What?" I snapped.

"You look sad."

I wonder how one looks sad. I looked away.

"It's none of your business."

"Are you lonely?" she asked again.

I glared at her.

"I don't know the feeling of being lonely. I never had friends." She started talking. "I never went to school. I had been in this building for as long as I can remember."

It caught my attention. "You grew up here?"

She nodded. "Home." She mouthed.

I felt pity for the little girl. No one would call this depressing hospital as home. "You're lonely?" I asked her.

She shook her head. "I was always lonely. I don't know how it feels to not be lonely." She twirled her curly hair around her fingers.

I looked intently at the girl. She indeed looked sick. She did not look happy. Nor sad. She was just looking at me with a blank expression on her face.

"How long have you been here?" I adjusted my position so I can fully face her.

"I don't know. I already celebrated 4 birthdays here."

"And how old are you?"

"9." She answered.

She was already at the hospital at 5 years old. I was shocked. She was so young to be stuck here in this building. I don't want to ask her questions anymore. But I felt like she did not mind it at all.

Besides, this is better than sulking alone.

"Where are your parents?"

"I don't have a daddy. My mommy is at work."

I could somehow relate with her. "Does she visit you?"

"Sometimes." She shrugged. "But I can understand it. Mommy doesn't want me."

Her casual put-off statement astonished me. I couldn't think of a parent not wanting his/ her child. I remembered my own father. Well, he could be. "Why did you say that?"

She sat cross-legged. "She's not my real mommy. I am my Daddy's child. But my Daddy left me with her to take care of. I don't have any brothers or sisters. My mommy couldn't have one. I was her only child."

I don't understand her. How could she talk like this all meant nothing to her? She's only a child. Yet she knew this much. She could take this much.

She continued. "I already have this sickness when my daddy left me to mommy. I heard the nurses whisper behind my back. They said that my sickness couldn't be cured. I might not even wake up one day. So I was asked to stay here at the hospital. My mommy," A glimpse of sadness can be seen on her face. "My mommy thinks I am a burden. So she left me here."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is!" I was taken aback when she suddenly shouted. Few people stared at us. "Yes it is." She said more softly. "She said it so. To me. That she doesn't want me. That she curses my daddy for leaving me with her. She couldn't get rid of me. So she put me here."

I was silent for a while. I couldn't think of what to say.

"But I love my mommy." And for the first time, her face showed some emotion. It was of sadness. Of loneliness. And I was somehow glad that she finally showed some feelings.

"My mommy was the one who took me here. Because she wanted to cure me. She was always here when I celebrate my birthdays. And she was always here when the doctor hurts me with needles. She was always here. Even though she doesn't smile," her voice started to quiver. 'Or she doesn't look at me. Or even when she doesn't say that she loves me, she was always here. That was why I was never lonely."

She was fighting back her tears. I lifted my hand and I rubbed her hair. I tried to smile for her. But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

She held my hand and put it next to her face. "You smell good. And warm." She smiled her first smile at me.

"Why are you here, niisan?" It was her turn to ask me. I was a bit embarrassed by my situation but I still decided to tell her the truth. "I lost all my memories in an accident. I am here to get it all back." I looked down.

"I hope you could remember all, niisan. I would pray or you." I got the chills when she said this. I don't know why.

"Someday niisan. You'll remember all your memories. There's no harm in waiting." For some strange reason, my feelings eased up. "I have waited so many years just for my mommy to finally look at me and tell me she loves me. It was hard at first. But it becomes fine. I know someday it would all come true."

I felt uncomfortable. A little girl was comforting a grown man like me. Her situation was by far worse than mine. But she was not sulking like I was. She let go of my hand and then stood up. "This is only the beginning. I hope you'll not forget about me." She smiled a last smile at me before waving goodbye.

"Wait!" I called out to her. "What's your name?"

She already disappeared into the hallways, her hair bobbing behind her. I did not even say my thanks.

* * *

It was already morning when I came into my senses. I must have fallen asleep in the hallways. And someone brought me to my room. I shielded my eyes from the glare of the sun. I was back to my room. I sighed.

It was a blur yesterday. I can only remember my home. The little girl.

And the damn flower shop.

I stood up from my bed. I wanted to get a change of clothes. I went outside of my room, my body aching a bit. It was a busy day even though it's Sunday. Nurses were frantically running around the hallways. There was a woman hysterically crying outside a room. I never knew the hospital could be this chaotic in the morning.

I passed by the room where the woman was crying. A doctor and a nurse were inside. They looked grim and the nurse was continuously comforting the woman. On the bed was a still person. It was a girl I think. She was not moving. She was covered under a sheet.

Someone just died.

It was not my business so I went on. The woman was still shouting and crying. I could hear her.

"She was only 9!! Do something!!"

9? I suddenly remembered the little girl yesterday.

Shit.

I knew that she was not the only 9-year-old here in this hospital. I freaking know that. But I can't help but feel something.

_They said that my sickness couldn't be cured. I might not even wake up one day._

I could remember her words. Her exact words.

I did not even have the chance to know her name.

I went back to the room where the woman was. She was still there. The doctor and nurses were gone. It was a little peaceful. She was slumped on the bed, hugging the motionless person on the bed.

I caught a flicker of that curly brown hair under the sheets.

It was her.

* * *

I was fixed to my spot. I couldn't believe it at all. I was just talking to her last night. And here she was. Motionless. Dead.

Her mother might have noticed me. "Who are you?" she said between tears. It was suffice to say that her mother was dressed for work.

"I…" What was I supposed to say? I'm your daughter's friend? I don't even know her name.

"I…I just..."

"What? You heard from those nosy nurses that my daughter died this morning? And you came to actually check it out?"

"I know your daughter." I said. I just hoped she would believe me.

She looked suspiciously at me.

"I had the chance to talk with her last night. She…" It was embarrassing to say it. "She comforted me when I was down."

She did not speak for a while.

"Sorry." She muttered.

It was my signal to approach the bed. The mother gave some room for me. I carefully removed the sheets. And there she was.

It was the same curly brown hair. It was the same small physique. It was her, the little girl last night. The only difference was she was not moving now.

She really did not wake up anymore.

My hands were shaking when I placed back the covers. My mouth felt dry. I could not think properly. It was the first time someone this close to me died.

I did not even have the chance to ask for her name.

"What's her name?" I softly asked the mother.

"Maki. Her name was Maki."

* * *

Mrs. Nagano and I went out to the hospital grounds. She had already calmed down a little. We were sitting on one of the benches in the vicinity of the hospitals. The morning was cold and damp. It was painful to think but the weather is perfect for a day like this.

"I somehow expected this to happen."

I looked at the lady beside me. "Why?"

"As she had already told you, her disease is incurable. It was cancer of the blood. Leukemia. She was so young to have it. She was having all these chemotherapy sessions a while back. I thought she was going to be cured because we already stopped it. But then, the doctor said that you couldn't truly escape from cancer. It just gets back and back until it literally eats you alive."

I did not like how she said it.

"Why haven't you been there for her through these years?" The tone of my voice gave me away. I was somehow angry at her. I know I have no right to. But I couldn't help it.

She just smiled. "My daughter had told you a lot of things, hadn't she?" She looked at me. I nodded.

"And did she look sad or lonely?"

Her question was strange. "Not really. She was fighting it back."

Mrs. Nagano bit her lips. She looked like she was going to cry. "Good." She covered her mouth with her hands to stop the shaking of her voice. "Good."

"She was somehow lonely. She hadn't made any friends through her life. You caged her in this hospital!" I did not care how I sounded. I was angry. A little girl just spent her entire life in the hospital. And it was not her fault.

"I was afraid to be with her. To be close to her. All her life, I cursed her. All her lie, I blamed her for the falling out of my marriage."

I could not believe what she was saying. "You were blaming a faultless child for your marriage??"

"I couldn't blame anyone else!" She faced me. The lines on her face suggested the hard work that she had been doing all these time.

"I couldn't bear a child. My husband knows that. Even though I wanted, I couldn't. And he just went home one evening carrying Maki in his arms. He had an affair with a whore just to have children! And that man thought I was gonna be happy and that I'll welcome that child openly!" She was hiding all these feelings inside. I could tell. But I did not feel any less angry towards her.

"So you blamed the child. Just because she was the daughter of your husband and another woman." There was no logic in all this. I looked at the trees around to help me calm.

"Frankly yes. I have no one else to blame. I kept telling myself it was not my fault that I couldn't bear a child. I divorced with my husband. I was living alone, sad, angry for 5 years when he came. He was a poor sick man already. Said that Maki has a sickness. He couldn't afford the treatment so he left the poor child in my doorstep."

"You're passing Maki by hand like she was some sort of food." I spat. I was disgusted by her. By this woman. And she was just crying hysterically a while ago.

"I know. I know." She looked at me. "You know that you are in no position to lecture me." Her words were cruel. But I was prepared for them.

"I know."

"Very good. You are the first friend of my daughter so just listen. I wouldn'y want to be the only one who knows this story." I failed to understand her request. But I agreed nonetheless.

She continued talking. "Let's just say that at first I hated her. I couldn't leave her anywhere so I just dumped her on this hospital. I found out that she has cancer. And I'm not stupid. I know it's expensive. I was planning on just leaving her on some monastery when she called me mommy. That cursed child called me her mommy." Her eyes were tearing up. And my anger on her was disappearing as well. She began to cry again. So I just sat there, waiting for her to talk again. I was feeling the tears myself.

She wiped her eyes on a handkerchief. "I'm sorry. It was just the first time that I had someone called me that. So I decided to work hard for her, to earn some money. So she would be cured one day."

"But you still kept your distance."

"I was living a lie." She stared into space. "A dream. A part of me was wishing that Maki would be cured. And that we would be a happy family. Just the two of us. And I could gradually accept her. Little by little. We could work it out."

She looked down to her calloused fingers. "But there was a part of me that still doesn't want her. I was wishing she wouldn't be cured. I was wishing she would just disappear from my life. I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"I was afraid that I might begin to love her. That if I do, I might not be able to move on if something happens to her. I don't want to live in a life where I was always afraid of her dying. Like I was always holding on. I was afraid to love the person I hated the most. I would look at her and I remember my husband. I would look at her and I also remember the whore he hooked up with."

I could finally sympathize with her. All this was just brought by the emotions o betrayal and anger. And I was somehow beginning to pity her.

"I was holding onto my past. I did not realize it. I was blinded by it. I couldn't enjoy the present because of it. All I see when I look at her was her father who caused all this. I could not see the girl who made me happy all these years. Her curly hair that I always stroke whenever she falls asleep."

"Mrs. Nagano."

From her look, I knew that she was about to end our conversation already. She was crying again. It was too much for her to confess her sins and regret to a stranger. "Thank you for being with my daughter last night. Thank you for being a friend to her during her last day here in earth. I did not make any good memories with her."

I remembered Maki's words.

_I hope you'll not forget about me._

"Don't forget about her, okay? So I knew that there is someone else here on earth who would remember my daughter." She stood up from the bench and dusted the dust from her clothes. She bowed at me. I stood up. "Please," She said. "You have an entire life ahead of you. Enjoy the present. What you have."

And she walked away.

I slumped on the bench. I couldn't stop the tears anymore.

* * *

I went back to my room that afternoon. I was walking like a zombie. Maki's body was already brought to the morgue above. I did not even have the chance to take one last look at her. My conversation with her mother was enough.

_Enjoy the present. What you have._

I looked at the flowers at the table beside my bed. They were the same pansies I had a week ago. Sent by someone I do not know. The same pansies in my dreams. The same flowers in my dreams.

I got the vase and walked towards the window.

The afternoon sun was spread in the horizon.

Goodbye Maki.

Please be happy in the skies.

I tipped the vase over and the flowers dropped to the ground.

I'll recover my memories. One by one. For your sake, Maki.

Thank you.

But I'll stop holding on to dreams that mean nothing.

**

* * *

CHAPTER 7:** (PREVIEW)

It was just a hug. Simple. Sweet. Short. I let go immediately.

"What…what was that for?"

I smiled.

"For the chocolates."

She blushed a pretty one. Her face was all pink. Like her hair.

And I loved it.

**

* * *

CHAPTER 7:** Chocolate Kisses


	7. Chocolate Kisses

**BITTERSWEET**

* * *

"_I had loved him ever since he approached me on that day in the bus stop. I had loved him ever since the moment he talked to me and asked me if we can share my umbrella. I continued to love him even though he first asked your name. And I love him, until now, even if you also love him back…"_

…

"_Sakura, I didn't mean to---"_

"_Of course, you did not mean it. You did not mean anything. It was not Sasuke's fault that he chose you over me. It was not your fault that you were chosen instead of me. It was my fault that I refused to fall out of love even though I know I would just get hurt."_

"_Sakura…"_

"_Ino, it was my fault that I continued to fall in love with him even though you're the one he loves."_

**

* * *

CHAPTER 7:** Chocolate Kisses

"You should go out a little more often. I think it sucks to stay in that dreary room of yours in this dreary hospital all day long. And it's already been 4 months. You're already perfectly capable of yourself." Naruto said in between mouthfuls.

We were outside the hospital but still inside the vicinity grounds. It was Saturday. I got a free day off. The first part of my rehabilitation was already finished. And slowly, little by little, my memories were coming back. The doctor said that I was improving greatly. Sooner, I will be released from the hospital.

Naruto and Sakura decided to stay with me the whole day. Sakura prepared a lot of food and pastries for us three to share. Kind of like a picnic. And Naruto was gobbling them all.

"You're one to talk. Chew first before you start talking." I was leaning on a tree. A mattress was spread out in the grass. Baskets of food were laid out; baked cookies, sandwiches and drinks. It was a sunny afternoon. But it was already comfortable to just recline there. I wanted to sleep. I closed my eyes to block off the sun.

"And what do you know of manners, bastard?"

I opened my eyes a bit. "Compared to you, lots."

Sakura smiled from the corner. She was putting jam on a slice of bread then offered it to me. "You should eat, Sasuke. Don't you want it?" Her hand was extended to me and I had this repressible urge to touch it.

I looked at her. She was indeed beautiful. Her hair was tied in abun on the top of her head and she was wearing a flowy, soft dress. Her emerald eyes glistened. I couldn't help but stare.

Naruto must have noticed that I was staring because he smiled devilishly. "It's rude to stare, my best friend. Really, you should have manners." He wolfed down a glass of juice. I glared at him but he just smiled back. I took the bread from Sakura and ate it.

"At least I do not look like a cave man that eats like it was his first time." I took another slice of bread from the loaf and put jam on it myself. I'm getting hungry just by looking at Sakura.

"At least I do not look like a fugitive who was just released form prison and was his first time to see a girl." He put the glass down. He got a tissue from the wad in the basket and wiped his mouth.

I got another slice. "At least I'm not---"

"Hold it, you two!" Sakura put her hands in front of us. "If you continue to fight and launch at each other like this, I'll get all these food and you'll never taste my cooking again." She looked at both of us, first at Naruto then at me. "Ever."

In an instant, we shut up and just ate the food peacefully. I saw Sakura smiled a little. I sighed and looked at the clouds. This is what one calls blackmail.

* * *

I was already bursting with food when Sakura opened another basket. I looked at Naruto quizzically but he just shrugged. Sakura was indeed a great cook. She could cook for me everyday. That would be good. I blushed a little at the thought of Sakura in an apron. In the kitchen of my house. Her hair tied atop her head with her nape---

"CHOCOLATES! THE FAMOUS SAKURA CHOCOLATES!"

A plate of homemade chocolates greeted me. I looked at Sakura and saw that she smiled sheepishly, her tongue stuck out.

* * *

"Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy!! This is absolutely yummy!"

I cringed as I watch Naruto gorge all those chocolates. He must have grown an endless pit down there in his stomach. He was eating non-stop.

"Sasuke? Do you want to try?" Sakura offered me chocolates. It was a little toffee. I tried hard not to look at her again. "Thanks." I got the chocolate and stared at it.

"You call that chocolate." Naruto piped from behind me. The plate was almost empty, thanks to him and I still haven't even tried one. "I know dobe." I saw Sakura looking at me and obviously waiting for me to try it.

I put the chocolate in my mouth. It was sweet and delicious. I don't know what else. But it was sweet. And Sakura made it. I wanted to strangle Naruto then because he had almost emptied the plate. I pulled the plate towards me and started to eat the remaining chocolates.

"Hey! Don't be greedy!" Naruto protested loudly. I glared at him and he surprisingly shut up. I turned back to Sakura's eager face. "It was delicious." I saw her features relaxed and she smiled. "Thank goodness." She muttered. She excused herself for a while and disappeared into the hospital.

I continued to eat the chocolates, savoring the taste that Sakura made. Naruto laid down beside me, his head looking up the sky. His hands were behind his head. We sat there in silence before Naruto spoke. "You have always liked her chocolates."

I stopped. Only a piece was left on the plate. It sat waiting for my hands to pick it up. Naruto continued speaking. "You never brought commercial chocolates. You just call her up and ask her to make some for you. You were pretty selfish then." He looked at me and smiled.

I picked up the last chocolate and put it in my mouth. "I'm still selfish now."

"Yeah. Right. Right."

We were just there, not talking. Both of us were looking towards the great sky. It was peaceful. For once, I have felt that I really have shared a deep bond with him.

After a few minutes of silence, Naruto rolled to one side, his back turned on me. He exhaled a deep sigh. "When will you fully remember your memories?" His voice was a little muffed but it was still clear.

"Don't ask me. I don't know" I answered back.

"What if," Naruto sat up yet his back was still turned to me. "What if you find out that all these things that you are experiencing now, all that, all that you think you know," He was obviously struggling for the right words. He was drumming his fingers on the mattress. "They're not really what they used to be, you know? Hypothetically asking, that is." I don't understand what Naruto was trying to say so I answered the same way.

"Basically, you're saying that all of these are lies?"

Naruto suddenly faced me with an expression I couldn't fully read, like I have hit something big. "I did not say they were!" He shouted. I arched my eyebrow at him. He quickly regained composure. "I mean," He flailed his arms. "I was asking hypothetically and…" He looked down. "What if they're really lies?"

The day was too good to dwell on these kinds of things. "Even if they were," It was my turn to lie down. Naruto followed me with his probing eyes. "I don't really care." I closed my own to block the sun's light off. In the background, I heard Naruto's phone ring. He answered it.

* * *

"I'll be off, dude." Naruto called from my side. I opened my eyes and squinted a little from the sun's glare. I sat up. "What?"

Naruto was arranging his things. "I said I'll be going already." He was throwing wads of dirty tissues in the trash can nearby. I was still a little off. I raked my hands through my rumpled hair. "Where are you going?"

"Office." He muttered. He swung his bag over his left shoulder. "There's an emergency and I need to rush off there." He fixed his place and straightened the creases in the mattress.

"Hn." I nodded weakly.

Naruto stopped in his tracks and looked at me. "Are you wasted?" I stared blankly at him.

He made his way round the grasses and approached me. He knelt beside and put his hands firmly on my shoulders. Facing me, he seriously said, "I'll still be back, my best friend. You don't need to be sad. I completely understand you." He wet his lips a little. He briefly closed his eyes. "Believe in yourself. Believe in me that I'll be back." He grinned widely, expecting for a smartass reply. I lied down again and pretended to sleep. He was being stupid. He was always stupid.

I heard his footsteps going away on the muffled grass. "Say goodbye to Sakura for me, okay?" He called out as his voice trailed away in the distance.

Say goodbye to Sakura for me?

I'm alone with Sakura now.

That woke me up.

* * *

"Heh! Naruto left without even saying goodbye??" Sakura pouted her lips. She seemed pissed at the fact that Naruto left without her. She was starting to put back the plates and utensils back into the baskets since Naruto had already left and I don't really eat that much.

"He said goodbye. Though not personally. He told me to say it to you." I was helping Sakura fix the food. I folded the mattress, though a little untidy. I was gathering all our trash in a plastic bag.

"But still." Sakura insisted. She sighed. "I hate that guy. He always disappears after I feed him." She folded her arms over her chest.

Somehow, the thought of Sakura feeding Naruto like a helpless dog, made me smile a bit. She looked at me unbelievably. "What?" She asked. "Nothing." I answered, still smiling. I threw the plastic bag into the trash can.

She playfully punched me on the arm. "No fair. You and Naruto always leave me out of your private jokes!" I smiled. 'It's nothing, really."

'Unfair." She whispered. She inserted the spoons and forks in a pocket inside the basket. We continued fixing all the things in silence afterwards. I was looking at her from time to time, fearing that I angered her. Her expression remained unreadable.  
"You angry?" I asked.

"Not really."

"You are." She remained moody and silent. I gave up.

After a while, she was just putting the mattress inside the basket when I approached her and sat beside her. She Put the baskets on a side and played with her hair. She was ignoring me.

I poked her on the arm. "Sakura." I said her name firmly, enunciating its syllable slowly. "What?" She was obviously annoyed. Why do girls get irritated at silly and trivial things easily?

"You're angry." It was a statement, not a question.

"Why are you still asking?" She raised an eyebrow at me. It was also more of a statement than a question.

"Because I want to know why."

"Ugh!!" Sakura frustratingly clutched at her hair and looked at me. "You're as hopeless, as dense and as insensitive as ever!!" She punched me again in the arm. It was hard and painful.

I stopped her attacks. "Cut it out." I smiled. It was rare for me to smile. "You look like a monster when you get angry."

She punched me again.

* * *

It was already afternoon. The sun was about to disappear over the horizons. And so were we.

Sakura stood up and wiped the dust off her dress. She stooped down and picked up the 3 baskets that she brought for the picnic. She smiled at me. "This is goodbye then?"

I also stood up and got the baskets from her. She hesitated a little but I insisted that I carry them for her. She whispered a shy thanks. We stood there in awkward silence. It was funny to think that at a time like this, there was dead air. But a while ago, we were just talking and laughing normally.

"You'll be going already?" I asked her. Stupid. Of course, she is. It's already near nighttime. She nodded. "Hn." I muttered. I put my free hand inside the pocket of my jeans. I crushed some blades of grass under the sole of my shoes. Sakura was twirling the ends of her hair.

"I—"

"You---"

We talked at the same time and it was again an uncomfortable pause. She giggled a little too nervously. "You first." I offered. "Okay."

She looked at me, and with the most serious tone she could possibly muster, asked. "Do you know how to ride a bike?"

I think I have heard her wrong. "W---what?" I confirmed.

"I said, do you know how to ride a bike?" She demonstrated riding a bike with her hands.

A bike? I tried to vividly remember what that looks like. "It's a…a contraption or something right? The one with 2 wheels?"

She laughed with her lovely hair thrown back. "Your reaction is funny. Yes, it has 2 wheels. And no, contraption is not the right word. You make it sound like it is a toaster." She bit her lips. "So, do you know?"

I looked sideways. "Can't remember."

In a sweep, instant motion, she grabbed the hand that was inside my pocket and beckoned me to follow her. "Where are you taking me?"

She looked at me, our hands held tight. "Let's ride a bike!"

* * *

I put the baskets down for a while. I was in the park. Sakura had asked me to stay here until she comes back. I looked around. It was my first time to see this place but I felt like it was not. This feeling had already happened to me before. Countless of times.

Sakura finally came back with the bicycle. She was holding the handles. Ah, I remember it now. That 2-wheeled thing. But I can't remember if I still know how to ride it.

She motioned me to come over. "Leave the baskets. They will not be lost." So, I approached her and the bike. "There!" She pointed to it. "Try to ride it."

I looked at her doubtfully but she edged me on. I slowly ran my hand through the handles, the seat, the tubes. It felt so familiar. But so strange.

I must have looked out of it because Sakura poked me in the arm. "Sasuke?" She pinched me. "Are you okay?" She looked concerned. She tugged on my sleeves.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I ran my hands through my hair. I decided to ride the bike.

I mounted it and felt the familiar sensation. Somehow, I thought I could do this. I firmly held the handles and the brakes.

"Okay!" Sakura shouted and suddenly sat on the metal plate covering the bicycle's back wheel.

I turned my head around and looked at her.

"What are you doing??"

"Uh…riding the bike?"

"I mean, there?"

Sakura dismissed my protest. "It's perfectly safe here." She patted the metal. "I've tried this lots of times already."

I suddenly dismounted the bike and stood in front of her. She stared at me disbelievingly. "No, if you're gonna sit there while I'm here at front, it's better if I do not ride at all."

Sakura also stood up. She placed her hands on her hips. "Why?" She protested.

It was somehow embarrassing to say it but I still did nonetheless. I did not break eye contact. "I don't know if I still know how to ride this thing. I might get us both in an accident."

Sakura looked at me like I was a strange creature. "You don't die from a bicycle accident, for your information." No matter what I tell her, she wouldn't budge.

"What if you fall?" I asked.

"Then catch me."

I sighed deeply. She was too stubborn to argue with. I shook my head slowly. In the end, I opted to ride the bike.

I hopped on. She was still standing there, her hands on her hips. "Get on."

She smiled again before she sat behind me. It was the sweetest smile I have ever seen from her. It made me blush so I just stared straight ahead. I felt her hands touch my waist. I shuddered a little.

"Are you nervous?" she asked.

"Why should I?"

"Your whole body is shaking." She commented.

Damn.

"Let's go." I stepped on the pedals and slowly ride away. It was wobbly at first. I had to exert more effort in pedaling. Few times, we almost fell. I had to lower down my right foot to maintain our balance. I tried again. And slowly, slowly, it was steadying. Until I finally got the hang of it.

It was almost night time. And the wind was blowing coolly at my face. It was a good feeling. Sakura was with me now. It was the greatest feeling.

"WHOO!!" Sakura shouted behind me. She extended her feet forward at my sides. She laughed and laughed.

I smiled. I wanted badly to look at her smiling face but I couldn't. I increased our speed. Everything was becoming a big blur. I could still hear her laugh.

"Don't let go!" I told her.

"I won't!" She held tighter. "I'll never let go!"

I believed her.

* * *

"It's already 7." Sakura looked at her watch. We returned the bike to its owner already. We were sitting on the bench in the park. It was dark already. I can now only see the outlines of those big, study trees casting silhouettes on the ground. Only a post light was overhead.

I leaned back to the bench. "Do you want to go home already?" I asked Sakura.

"Hm." She shook her head. "It's already dark." I tried to hide the concern in my voice but it was still there.

She looked at me and smiled. Even in the darkness, I could still see her face. "We can go home together if you want?"

"What?"

My heart thumped a little too fast, a little too wild, a little too loud.

"Haha." She giggled at my reaction. "What are you thinking?" She playfully slapped my arm. "I live near you." She continued.

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Tsunade-sensei is my mother."

I suddenly had an image of the old hag in my head. I shook the dirty thought away. "Shit." I breathed in. "Are you damn serious?"

"Yes. But only by law. Ha-ha." Her face, at this point, saddened a little. I asked her why.

She fiddled with her fingers for a while before she started talking. "My parents died when I was just 14. About 10 years ago. In a plane crash. They were headed to a business trip then. I just found out the following morning that the plane they were boarding crashed."

"I'm sorry." I weakly muttered. It was stupid of me to even ask her that. If I just knew it. "Don't…don't speak anymore."

"It's okay." Sakura reassured. "I also wanted you to know this. It's not really that sad anymore actually. After all, it's been 10 years already." She shrugged. "Tsunade-sensei is really my aunt, the sister of my mother. She adopted me after I was orphaned. I was living near the hospital with her since."

I looked away. I was afraid to see her sad, to see her like this. So she was actually orphaned. Once again, I regret that I had amnesia. I had to ask these painful things again. Over and over.

"I got my cooking skills from my father." She started talking again. "He was a chef. He and my mom was about to go to France for an exhibition program. He was a confectioner particularly."

I grabbed Sakura's right arm. "Sasuke?" With my let hand, I enveloped her into a hug. It was just a hug. Simple. Sweet. Short. I let go immediately.

She was obviously shocked. "What…what was that for?"

I smiled at her

"For the chocolates."

She blushed a pretty one. Her face was all pink. Like her hair.

And I loved it.

I stood up. I extended my hand to her. "Let's go."

She held it.

* * *

When we went back into the hospital, the nurses were running frantically from out of the emergency room. Sakura and I looked at each other. Someone must have met an accident just a while. She shrugged her shoulders. We went on to my room. But still, it was a little more chaotic than usual. The hospital corridor was a long stretch of white.

"Sakura! Sasuke!" I turned around and saw Shizune running to us. "Shizune-san." Sakura acknowledged her. "You look so tired."

Shizune stopped in front of us. She caught her breath first before she started to speak in little huffs. "In the emergency room….come…come with me."

"Why?" Sakura asked. She looked at me. A hint of worry was clouding her face.

"Accident. Been shot…Come…Naruto."

Sakura has gasped beside me. She slumped to the ground.

I instantly ran to the emergency room. I could hear both Shizune's calls and Sakura's cries in the distance.

The hospital corridor was a long stretch of white and it did not seem to end.

**

* * *

CHAPTER 8:** (Preview)

"Someone was looking for you a while ago when you were gone. I told her you were in the comfort room, forgoing all your worries." It was strange. Once, he was the one who was visiting. Now, it was me.

"Thank you very much, bastard." He hungrily wolfed down an apple that Sakura sliced for him. "Boy or girl?" He asked in mouthfuls.

"Girl."

"Is she beautiful? One of my exes?" He got another apple from the plate beside him.

"Yes, she is beautiful. And no, she is not one of your exes. She's too beautiful to be fooled by someone like you."

"You just don't know. How this face can charm people. By the way, what's her name?"

"It's…" What's her name again? It starts with I. "Uh. Yamanaka. Yamanaka Ino."

Naruto dropped the half-eaten apple he was holding and stared at me unbelievably.

**

* * *

CHAPTER 8: **Dramatic Irony


	8. Dramatic Irony

**BITTERSWEET**

* * *

"_There's this one guy I love so much. But he already loves somebody else. Every time he looks my way, I can only pretend he's looking at me. When he calls me and says my name, his voice is the greatest song I've ever heard in my entire life."_

"_Then tell him what you really feel."_

"_I can't. I just can't. It hurts me every time I see him. Like I'm being torn into pieces and my heart can't take it anymore and it's almost ready to come out of my chest. But I can't just ignore him. It makes me sad that I want to cry. Even when I'm sleeping, I dream of him. From the moment I wake up until the time I close my eyes, I can see him clearly." _

"_Then, don't see him anymore. Eventually, you'll forget about him."_

"_Why should I choose to forget about him?"_

"_So it would not hurt anymore."_

"_Does that mean I need to stop loving him too?"_

"_Basically yes."_

…

"_Then I can't do that."_

"_Why?"_

"_Let's put it this way. Why do you love Ino?" _

"_I…I don't know. I just…love her."_

_She smiled._

"_Exactly."_

…

"_Sakura, you love him this much?"_

…

"_Yes Sasuke. I love him this much it hurts."_

**

* * *

CHAPTER 8: Dramatic Irony**

It was already morning when I woke up. I barely realized that I had fallen asleep on the couch. I shifted uncomfortably so that I was facing Naruto's bed in the east. Last night was so surreal I could even pretend that nothing of the sort happened. I shielded Naruto's sleeping form with my arms. From this distance, he looked motionless. Still. Dead.

I shouldn't be thinking about those things.

I stood up from the couch and walked over to Naruto. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. Yet, the images of yesterday's incident were still as vivid as ever. I clenched my fists. My best friend almost slipped away last night.

I was starting my life over. And he was ending his.

I went out of his room to get some fresh air. I never bothered to go back to my own room. I also decided to skip rehabilitation today. I felt that it is wrong to continue with my life when someone very important to me is struggling with his.

I walked the familiar path of the corridors. My footsteps echoed in the halls. I overheard a few friendly greetings from some of the nurses. Yet, no matter what they do, the corridors still seemed like an invisible phantom in the darkness. Dreary. Sad. Uninviting.

I hate it.

I found myself in front of Tsunade-sensei's clinic. I knocked a few times. Her muffled voice greeted me. "Come in." I entered.

She looked surprised to see me. "It's still early in the morning." It was the same room I had been entering since the time I was admitted here. But, it had a different aura now. "What's the problem?" Her voice was full of feigned interest. I could deduce that she was not happy to see me.

I answered her without moving. I tried to match the haughtiness in her voice. "How's Naruto?" I knew I failed in doing so.

She sighed. She knew this was coming. "He's okay. Had a few bruises here and there. His head wounds still need some stitching. Fractures in the left knee and right arm. No signs of concussions." She drummed her fingers on the table. "Basically, he's alive." She arched her left eyebrow. "Anything else?" She looked annoyed and pissed at being disturbed.

I shook my head slowly. "That's all." I felt small and senseless compared to her. For unknown reasons, my heart was thumping against my chest. She stood up from her chair and walked to the counter to prepare some coffee.

I watched her without moving from my position. I looked at the wall clock by my side. It read 7:09. It must be the time. Her foul mood was caused by the unsettling time.

Holding a cup of coffee, she walked back to her table. Her heels were clacking noisily against the tiles. She stirred her coffee without a sound. The doctor crossed her legs then she looked at me intently. "Why are you still here?"

Good question. I do not know the answer myself so I just said the first thing that came to mind. "I won't go to rehab today." Crap. Why did I tell her that?

She smiled. She went back to stirring her coffee. "Figures. But you know that's impossible."

I mentally kicked myself. Now, I could not even try to escape from today's session. I gritted my teeth. Her annoyance and disinterest irritated me. I looked around her office. I haven't been here for weeks. Yet, its atmosphere had already changed dramatically. 7:14, the clock read.

I turned around on my heels. It was useless to talk with her right now. And besides, she was pissing me off already. I held the doorknob. For some unknown reason, I did not go out immediately.

"You're becoming predictable." She called out to me. I stopped in my tracks.

"Is that bad?" I answered. I was somehow relieved that the haughtiness in her voice was disappearing.

I could hear her shuffling some papers. She was back to her work. "No." She replied. "Just boring."

"Well. I'm sorry for boring you." I announced the words acidly. I tightened my hold on the door knob.

To my surprise, Tsunade-sensei chuckled. I looked at her unbelievably. "What?"

She bit her lips. Her pencil poised in midair, she uncrossed her legs. "The rehab's working. You are healing Sasuke. Very good."

"Just because I'm boring?"

"It's because you're alive."

She could see that I was not catching up. She was writing something on paper. "Being boring is being alive. You're starting to connect with the people around you. You're starting to feel emotions. You're not just a shell anymore. But then again," She took a sip from her coffee. "You're just like everyone else now. Automated robots that act according to the orders given to them."

I shrugged. I turned my back to her. I couldn't really understand what she was trying to tell me. The morning had been weird. "You've become talkative." I turned the knob this time. I opened the door a bit.

"It's the coffee. Attend your rehab later."

I went out of her office. It was already 7:30.

* * *

I attended my rehab morning session. My attention was somewhere else, particularly at what the old hag said earlier. She was philosophically speaking, that I know. But there was something in her words that struck me deep down.

Shizune dismissed me earlier than usual. She seemed to be in a hurry to leave. Frankly, I was glad. I returned to Naruto's room shortly after. There, I found Sakura sitting by his bedside. I thought that Naruto had finally woken up.

"He looks good sleeping." She stated when I sat beside her.

"Hn."

Sakura had brought a basket of fruits for Naruto and was now peeling him a fourth apple. I offered to do it instead but she refused.

"I can manage it. Thanks." She muttered. I remembered her doing the exact same thing for me just months ago. Déjà vu, that's what they call this.

I started a conversation. "Don't you have anything to do somewhere at your home or anywhere perhaps?"

She shook her head. "It's Sunday today, remember?"

"Oh. Right."

"There's no school on Sundays." She shifted on her seat so she could face me properly. She put down the peeled apple and the knife. Sakura deposited the peelings in a plastic she had brought for this. She wiped her hands on her dress.

"You're studying?" I asked.

"Yes." She nodded. "Haven't I told you this before?"

It was my turn to shake my head.

"Sorry." She seemed apologetic. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I'm studying to be a doctor."

For some reason, I remembered Tsunade-sensei's face and my features darkened instinctively. "Is something the matter?" Sakura asked worriedly; her forehead creased.

"Nothing. Never mind."

She smiled relieved. "I want to be like Tsunade-obaasan. Ever since she took me in, she had been my idol."

I snorted a little too loud. Sakura looked at me questioningly. I apologized. "Sorry." She arched her eyebrow.

I decided to distract her so I continued our conversation. "What kind of doctor?" I feigned complete interest and innocence. Sakura answered my question though she still eyed me doubtfully.

"Kids. Pediatrician."

"You like kids?" This time, I was really interested in her answer.

"Yup. Very much." There was a sparkle in her eyes. I couldn't look away. "I had always liked them. They're so cute, don't you think?"

My mouth twitched at the idea. "You wanted to be a pediatrician just because you think kids are cute?"

She winked at me. "Partly. But not really." I did not push the conversation any further. I was afraid of what I might discover.

I turned my attention on Naruto's sleeping form. When would you wake up, dobe? I wanted to wake him up then and there. But I know that would not be possible. I just comforted myself with the fact that Naruto might finally wake up later. Or tomorrow. Or next week. I shuddered at the idea of him sleeping for a month or so.

"How about Naruto?" I kept up the conversation to keep my thoughts away from those kinds of things.

"Naruto?" Sakura repeated. "What about him?"

"What does he do? What is his job?"

I noticed that Sakura looked away when I asked. "Sakura?" I touched her shoulder. There was sadness in her voice when she spoke. "Naruto had always wanted to become a pilot."

"Is he not one?"

She shook her head. "Hm. He never became a pilot."

"Never?"

"Never." She confirmed it. "2 years ago, he was studying to become one. But then, he just stopped."

I looked away. I couldn't bring myself to look at Sakura or even at Naruto. "What happened?" My voice sounded distant, even to me.

"There was an accident. He lost his sister in a plane crash. They were headed to Europe for a vacation then. The pilot had a little miscalculation in flying. His sister died. He was better dead than alive after the accident." I clenched my fists above my lap.

"Naruto became afraid of flying, of planes. It was impossible to convince him to ride a plane back home here. When he finally came back to Japan, he was unrecognizable." She smiled remorsefully at me. "You couldn't even muster the strength to look at him. That was how bad and dysfunctional," she spat the word out "he was then. He dropped out of school. He only recovered a year later. But it was still not a full recovery." Sakura peeled another apple from the bunch. The sound of the knife against the flesh of the apple was deafening.

"Naruto seemed fine now." I spoke when I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Yes, he is. It was because of you."

"Me?"

She nodded. "I do not what exactly happened. The two of you just talked. Just like that. After that, he was okay. He was fine. He was recovering. No one had the courage to ask you how you did it. It was like a private matter between the two of you."

"And now, I couldn't remember it anymore. Great."

Sakura's eyes widened. She must have not known that what she said imposed that kind of effect to me. "I'm---I'm sorry. I did not mean it to be that way. I—"

"It's okay. It just sucks to remember the irony that I can't remember everything. Especially when it's something as important as this." I sighed a deep sigh. I won't sulk anymore. It won't do me good. It was just frustrating to think about.

"Naruto remembers it." Sakura said matter-of-factly. "I believe," she continued "That it is more important that Naruto remembers it more than you do. It was your words that changed his life, not the other way around."

"I supposed you're right." I wiped my sweaty hands on my trousers. The atmosphere changed a bit. It was becoming humid in the room.

"And besides, aren't you glad?"

"For what reason?"

"That Naruto still remembers it? At least the memory still lives on in that person. The memory is not lost forever. Someone still remembers it."

"I supposed you're right again."

* * *

"You're dismissing me early again?" I asked out of curiosity. It was Monday morning. My session was still unfinished but Shizune discharged me early again.

"Don't you want that?" She put the things we used inside a box. The box was labeled "Memory Rehabilitation."

"I don't know." I shrugged. I extended my help to her but she refused it with a smile. "I can manage. Thanks."

When she finished, she placed the box inside a glass shelf. She wiped the dust off her uniform. She exhaled deeply and stretched her arms a little bit. Relieved, she smiled to me.

"Besides, don't you want to see your best friend?"

My mind went blank. "Pardon?"

She seemed surprised at my reaction. "Naruto? Hello?" Shizune waved her hands in front of me. "Your best friend is awake now."

It took me a while to say something. My mind couldn't fully register the thought. "Since when?"

"Since now?" Shizune answered. She chucked disbelievingly at my foolishness.

I scratched my head. "Can I visit him?"

This time, it was not just a mere chuckle. It was a full-blown laugh at my expense. "Ha-ha! You're being funny, Sasuke. Naruto had just woken up an hour ago. For real. And yes, since this is a hospital and we are living in a free country, you can visit him. Anytime." She nodded. "Is everything clear now?" She smiled teasingly.

"Thanks." I muttered.

* * *

I was already outside Naruto's room when I bumped to Tsunade-sensei. I scowled at the mere sight of her. But I did not break stare.

She raised her eyebrow at me as if to say that she was not the least bit affected. I sharpened my glare.

"Sasuke." The way she said my name irked me a bit. "You still angry about yesterday?" She smiled a little innocently. I did not like the tone she used on me.

"Why should I be?" I curved my mouth upwards to show a sneer.

"Of course. You don't have any reason to be!" She pat my shoulders roughly and messed my hair. All the while, I was glaring at her. It was either she was oblivious to it or she pretended that she was.

"Get off." I hissed darkly. She only smiled. She turned to walk away.

"Naruto's awake now. Go greet your best friend." The old hag called out before she totally disappeared to the hallways. I scoffed at her.

I went back to the door and turned its knob. I went inside quietly and found Naruto on his bed. He was looking at the windows on his left when he heard me come in.

He faced me slowly. I was surprised at how empty his face seem. He lost some weight and the usual color and perk on his face were gone.

But, his eyes lighted up immediately. He gave me a wide grin and gestured a thumbs-up sign. "I'm alive, bastard!"

His bright eyes and smile contrasted the blankness of his face. I smiled a bit.

"Welcome back, dobe."

He started talking animatedly like we had not seen each other for a year. I was not really listening to him. Behind me, I did a thumbs-up sign with my right hand.

But there is no way in hell I would let him see this.

* * *

"NARUTO!" Sakura flung herself at Naruto the moment she saw him. Naruto tried to get her off him. "Sakura! I can't really breathe with what you're doing." Naruto signaled me to help him get the girl off. I tried to pretend that I did not notice him. "Sasuke!" he hissed. I decided to help him anyway.

I firmly held both of Sakura's shoulders. "Sakura. The dobe can't breathe. If he dies now, your fingerprints will be all over his body. Do you want that?"

Sakua looked at Naruto then me. She removed her grasp. "Of course I don't." She wiped her hands on Naruto's bed sheets. "Remove evidence. Remove evidence." She whispered.

Naruto protested. "Am I some kind of contagious disease?"

"No. You're worse than that."

Naruto slumped on the bed. He crossed his arms over his chest. "You're one to talk, Uchiha. Just months ago, you were like some kind of decaying vegetable who forgot that it was even a vegetable in the first place." He sneered. I threw him a fierce placed her hands on her hips. "That's rude, Naruto!"

"You're siding with him! It's 2 versus 1! Not fair!"

I sighed. "You're acting like a child." The scene amused me. Beside me, Sakura nodded in agreement.

He extended his hand in front of us. "I'm not talking to the two of you anymore. NEVER!" He turned his back to us.

"Okay." I shrugged. I reached out for Sakura's hand and beckoned her to come. "Let's go somewhere else. The dobe wants to be alone." Sakura looked doubtfully at Naruto's form. "O—okay." She said slowly. Anytime now, Naruto would waver and take back everything he said earlier.

Naruto glanced at us with a look on his face I couldn't understand. "Fine. Go date somewhere else," he put an emphasis on 'somewhere else'. "I don't want to see the two of you getting lovey-dovey here in my room." Before he faced away, I saw a flicker of smile. "Shoo." He hissed. "Make love somewhere else."

I rolled my eyes. But when I looked at Sakura, I saw that she was blushing. She caught my eyes. Then, she looked away. I could feel my own face heat up.

"Aha! You're blushing! How cute, Sasuke!" Naruto finally confronted us. He was wearing a triumphant teasing smile. I had the urge to punch him in the face.

Dobe.

* * *

Later that afternoon, after I had finished my afternoon session, I went back to Naruto's room. I saw a girl peering at his room, holding a bouquet of flowers. I thought it was Sakura at first. They were of the same built. When I neared her, I noticed that she possessed the longest hair I have ever seen. It reached down to her waist. It was stunning with its blonde locks cascading down. I had the sudden urge to touch it.

I decided to talk to her. "Who are you looking for?" I asked her.

She jumped at my voice. She slowly turned around and looked at me. Her cerulean eyes caught me off-guard. I was literally lost in them. They blended perfectly with her skin. They had a certain depth in them that lured me in.

I noticed that I was not the only one taken aback. She was also silent, looking at me all over. I suddenly became conscious so I looked away. I broke the spell her eyes bonded me.

"Who are you looking for?" I repeated my question earlier. I couldn't resist staring at her. Her eyes were not only spellbinding but the whole of her features as well. She was like a little porcelain doll.

She was beautiful, I thought. Very much.

"Is…" She was stammering. Her voice was unsure. "Is Naruto in? Is this Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto's room?" Her hands were shaking. She seemed apprehensive of me.

I nodded. "Why? Are you a relative?" My question sounded wrong, even to me. She could never be Naruto's relative. A far, far one, if she would be.

She shook her head. She smiled a charming smile that made her eyes look like little slits on her face. "No. I am a friend. A very dear one at that."

She was holding a bouquet at her right hand. She was visiting Naruto.

I remembered that Naruto was with the old hag right now. "He's not in." I told her. "Would you want to wait for him?" I could not take my eyes off.

"Nope." She shook her head again. "But could you give this to him for me?" He extended the bouquet she was holding.

"Sure." I shrugged. I reached out and took the bouquet from her. My fingers brushed momentarily against his. A shock of wave spread through me. It was only a brief physical contact but my heart thumped like crazy. My free hand instinctively shot to my chest. I wondered if I could contain my heart like this.

This was the first time I have felt this feeling.

"Thanks." Her voice shook me out of my reverie. I nodded like I was stupid.

She smiled that lovely smile of hers.

My heart thumped again.

I realized too late that she was already walking away. I hastily turned around and called out to her. "What's your name?"

She looked back at me with a look I can't understand. I do not know if I was just imagining it or what but the look quickly disappeared. She muttered something that I sdid not quite catch. "Excuse me?" She called out.

I hesitated a little. "Your name. So I could tell Naruto that you visited." My hands were sweating. They were shaking.

She smiled again and shouted her name.

It sounded so familiar.

I was alone, holding a bouquet of flowers on my hand. And I still could not look away.

* * *

Naruto came back an hour after. He saw me sitting on his couch, with the flowers in my hand. I gave it to him silently when he approached me. He sat beside me.

"Who sent the flowers?" He inquired. He was examining it very closely.

I did not answer him. "Someone was looking for you a while ago when you were gone. I told her you were in the comfort room, forgoing all your worries." It was strange. Once, he was the one who was visiting. Now, it was me.

"Thank you very much, bastard." He stood up and walked to his bed. Sakura left a plate of sliced apples for the bastard. He hungrily wolfed down one. "Boy or girl?" He asked in mouthfuls.

"Girl."

"Is she beautiful? One of my exes?" He got another apple from the plate beside him. Very, I wanted to answer.

"Yes, she is beautiful. And no, she is not one of your exes. She's too beautiful to be fooled by someone like you."

"You just don't know. How this face can charm people. By the way, what's her name?"

How could I forget it? It was so familiar. "It's…" It started with I. "Uh. Yamanaka. Yamanaka Ino."

Naruto dropped the half-eaten apple he was holding and stared at me unbelievably.

**

* * *

CHAPTER 9: (Preview)**

"Are you hiding something from me?" I looked into his eyes. But I could not find something.

"Who told you that?" His eyes were beginning to show some worry. And fear.

"Answer me." I almost spat out the words. I was not breaking stare.

"And if I am?"

I grabbed the collar of his gown. It was firm and rough against my shaking hands. "Stop messing my life."

He sneered. "I'm not messing your life. Trust me, Sasuke. I'm not." I wanted to believe him. But I could not. I don't know the truth anymore.

I threw him down. "Yeah." I answered. "I don't even have a life to begin with. All these months, I thought you were helping me remember."

I looked at him incredulously. "But you were helping me forget."

**

* * *

CHAPTER 9: Of Lies and Truths**


	9. Of Lies and Truths

**BITTERSWEET**

_

* * *

It was the coldest night I have ever experienced. The warmth of her hand did not reach me. It stayed on my skin. _

_And she spoke the words I dreaded hearing._

"_What if I tell you I don't love you anymore?"_

_ …_

_ "Then I won't believe you."_

_ "It's time you believe things, Sasuke!"_

_ "I will believe you if it is true."_

_ …_

_ "I don't love you anymore."_

_ …_

_ "Ha. You make it sound so easy."_

_ "Easy? This will never be easy on me Sasuke! Not after a month, nor even a year! Please understand everything. I already feel like crap saying this. It seems like a great part of my life has been taken away!"_

_ …_

_ "Only a part? I feel like I have just died with what you said."_

_ …_

_ She squeezed my hands. But I couldn't feel anything. It's unfair. Am I the only one who needs to understand everything?_

_ "Sasuke." My name sounded strange now. Please, if there really is a God. Don't let this happen. Don't let her walk away. I'll go to church every Sunday. Pray the rosary everyday. Memorize the entire Bible. Just please, don't let me lose my life._

_ She did the most unthinkable thing. She kissed me on the lips. Probably the last one we'll ever share. Her scent and taste lingered on me for a while. The kiss was not a promise of love. There were no feelings involved. It was like Judas' kiss of betrayal to Jesus Christ. It hinted goodbye and separation. Her lips were hot, as opposed to the coldness I feel inside. _

_ "Thank you." She whispered, her breath on my skin. "For everything that has happened between us. For everything that should have happened."_

_ I held her face between my hands. The face that I loved and knew so much. I was taking this all in. So that I could remember what she looked like, what she sounded like when she said goodbye. "Tell me this is not happening. I love you, you know that." My voice cracked. _

"_Sometimes," She held my hands. "It's not about love anymore. Sometimes, you have to choose what's more important."_

_It was my last hope._

"_Am I not important to you?"_

_I would be better forgotten, than neglected like this._

"_You once were."_

_She slowly removed my hand from her face then stood up. Without looking back, she slowly walked away. Away from this place, away from me, away from my life. I wanted to stop her, right then and there. But her words were too much for me to bear. _

_And her kiss gave me the most bittersweet feeling in the world._

_Ino, will you marry me?_

**

* * *

CHAPTER 9:** Of Lies and Truths

I was surprised by Naruto's sudden reaction to what I said. I raised my eyebrows at him. He muttered a clumsy sorry and reached out for the slice of apple he dropped. "What's with that?" I asked him.

"N---nothing." He laughed a nervous one. "I was kind of shocked, that's all." I knew that there was something much more than being shocked. "Did the name surprise you?" After all, it sounded familiar to me, but I did not dare tell him that.

I knew I hit a nerve when he took a little longer than usual to reply. "Yeah. Ino." He carefully mentioned the name. "I haven't heard from her in a while."

"Since?" I prompted him on. There was something about this girl that he was hiding from me.

"Since your accident."  
It was my turn to be surprised. I did not expect him to be this upfront. I thought that he would not answer straight. "W—why?" I suddenly felt nervous.

"No reason. I don't know." He nonchalantly avoided the question. I knew that I would not get any more decent answer from hereon. But I still decided to ask him. "Do I know her?"

Naruto sat straight on his bed, his eyes looking at a far distance. Then, he looked straight at me.

"No."

* * *

I went to Tsunade-sama for my monthly check-up that afternoon. I was still angry at her for provoking me the other day. But I could just not go see her.

I entered her familiar, small office and I found her reading intently over a couple of papers. She did not notice me when I entered her room. I waited for her to acknowledge my presence. After a while, she asked me to sit down.

"I'm sorry." She started the conversation. "I was so pored in with this patient's records that I failed to notice that you were already in." She shuffled the papers one last time before keeping them in a brown folder that she kept inside one of her drawers. Frankly, I was a little curious.

"The patient is that important?" I asked her casually.

"Yes. Just like the others." She answered back. Her manicured nails drummed the tabletop.

"How come?"

"She only has a few weeks left to live."

I was not startled by her revelation. More so, I could not find the seemingly large significance of the patient. "So?" I knew I sounded a little offensive but I was relieved to see that she did not take it against me. I continued, a little gentler this time. "I mean, she is like any other patient, is she? I can guess that this is not your first time to encounter a case like this."

She smiled wearily. "You're right. It's not my first time, and it's not going to be my last either." She breathed slowly like she was about to say something important. "I

guess you think that I should be getting used to it now. It's part of my chosen profession to witness people dying everyday. But," She emphasized on the word. I could somehow see the loneliness in her eyes when she said this. "I'll never get used to it. Not even after a decade of practicing."

She looked down, avoiding my eyes. "I thought, at first, that I would somehow get used to the fact that people die, people get sick. I feel guilty whenever I can't do something for the patient. And I need to deliver the message across to the family. 10 years into the profession, I had seen numerous lives ruined and destroyed. Families broken." She smiled remorsefully. "I did not know how it feels then. How it feels to be at the receiving end of the bad news."

She saw the confusion in my eyes so she continued. "Can you imagine how many people die every day? How many families cry? And I can not do anything." She gave a small laugh. "But I should not be complaining, should I? I chose this career. I just mistakenly thought that by becoming a doctor, I can help save lives. But it is turning the other way around. I can not save them as much as I thought I can."

There was a brief silence between us. I did not think that the old hag feels this way. I was not prepared for this kind of confession. Damn. I was more than glad when she suddenly changed the topic.

"Anyway," she started, her tone business-like now. "Your rehabilitation is producing good, if not the best, results. I am glad to say that you do not need to prolong your rehabilitation sessions anymore. 2-3 months is enough for complete recovery on your part." She narrowed her eyes at me, confused by the impassiveness on my face. "Aren't you glad?"

I shrugged. "Somehow."

She sighed a deep one. "You know, Sasuke. You should learn how to recognize good new from the bad. This," She moved her hands sideways to emphasize the point. "Is good news. The one I'm about to say is the bad."

I swallowed audibly. Her eyes turned grim.

"Your progress is slow. It's been about 9 months now and you haven't recovered your memories yet. Save for a few." I looked away. I turned my fists into balls on my lap. "If this continues," Her voice heightened my frustration. "I will have to subject you into a more rigorous and different rehabilitation program to exercise your brain and help you get your memories back."

I hissed. I turned my anger to her. "What can I do? Rack my brains so that my memories will fall out?"

She matched my tone of voice with sarcasm. "You can also do that, if you want. Actually, you have some good options to choose from." I glared at her but her features did not waver.

"Sasuke, this will be difficult for you if you do not do this right. A few years from now, your new life will be already starting. By that time also, your memories will be coming back to haunt you. Your past will be colliding with your present and you will have to choose between the two. The life that you once had or the life that you are having. It will be very difficult to choose when that time comes."

I could feel the urgency and the truth in her voice. She's concerned. My hands shook on my lap. "What can I do? How can I do this right?" Damn. I could not keep my voice stable and free of emotions. I was pleading.

"Hurry and get your memories back."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Is it that difficult or are you just afraid to know your past?"

Damn. She was right. She was always right.

* * *

I felt afraid now, more than ever, to know my past. It did not help even a bit that Naruto and Sakura seem to be hiding something from me. They would always avoid the question every time I ask them. How could I get back my memories this way?  
I went back to my room. I decided I was in no mood to talk to Naruto or to anyone else for that matter. Tsunade-sama's words hit me straight. I suddenly had the urge to talk to Sakura. She could calm me when everything confused me.

I miss her.

Fuck.

A knock came at my door. I muttered a low 'Come in'.

It was Sakura at the door. She must have noticed my surprised expression. "Was it a bad time?" She asked.

I shook my head while my heart thumped loudly inside my chest.

* * *

She brought me food to eat, from bread to baked cookies. I marveled at the idea of her cooking all these for me. I drummed my fingers nervously on my bed. My imagination always runs wild when I'm with her.

"Is there a problem?" Sakura asked me out of the blue. I looked away. Now, I wished she was not here. She could calm me but she could not take all my problems away. "Nothing." I muttered.

"Don't fool me. I know you." She continued to peer at me even though I already avoided her gaze. I decided to confess.

"Tsunade-sama said that my progress is slow. It can take me years before a full recovery, if it is even bound to happen." I felt ashamed and low just by saying this. Once again, I was the weak one. The vulnerable one in front of Sakura.

"Is that not a good thing?" I was surprised by her reaction. It was evident in my face when I suddenly looked up. "What?" I asked to confirm.

She did not change her statement a bit. "Is that not a good thing?" I searched her face but I could not find anything. I could not understand her. Her face remained black and impassive.

"What is?"

"Not being able to have a full recovery."

I could not believe what I was hearing. Sakura does not want me to recover? "Why?"

She shrugged. "There are things in your past that are too painful for you to remember now."

I sneered. So this is where it was going. My temper suddenly vanished. "Don't give me that bullshit again." I spat the words. They were messing with my life again.

I saw how my choice of words hurt Sakura. But for the first time, she fought back verbally. "I am allowed to give you bullshit if I think you need it." She raised her voice. Her eyes were fuming with anger I hadn't seen in her before.

"What is in my past that you don't want me to remember?"

Her eyes widened. She opened her mouth to say something but decided against it. She pursed her lips together. I could see the tears forming in her eyes again. Yet, the resolve was still there.

"Sakura." I said her name slowly. I did not want her crying again, or us fighting like this. Guilt slowly formed. "If I say that I want you in my life now, what will you feel?"

Her lips were shaking. "W—What?"

I sighed. I did not like repeating these things. "If I say that I want you in my life now, what will you feel?"

It took a while before she answered. "Happy?"

I sighed again. I breathed deeply. I needed concentration. "I want you to be part of my present, my life now. I do not really care what's in my past. You understand? I just need to know my past so that I can fully move on. I wanted to start from where we have left before the accident. I want you to help me remember my memories." I held her hand and squeezed it tight. There was no turning back now.

She was crying. She was not saying anything. Was there something wrong in what I said?

"Sakura." I urged her on. "Say something."

She continued to cry. Her lashes were glistening with tears. I badly wanted to reach out to her.

"I like you." I finally said. "But it's not enough for the love that I once had for you. You said that we were supposed to marry each other before the accident. I understand." I squeezed her hands tighter. "I'll marry you. You just have to wait before I turn back to the Sasuke I once was. I need my memories to complete my whole being. I need to remember my memories of you so that it would not be unfair in your part. So please." I was practically pleading her now, my shame and pride out of the window. "Tell me, what is in my past that you don't want me to remember?"

She finally looked at me. Her tear-stricken face pained me to no end. "If I…if I tell you the truth, will you promise not to leave? Not to be angry at me, or at Naruto?"

"Of course, I won't."

She wiped her face on the sleeves of her dress. "Promise me that nothing will change even after you have learned the truth." I could see the resolve was forming again in her eyes.

I sighed deeply. "Promise."

"Sasuke."

My heart thumped wildly against my chest. It was her turn to squeeze my hand.

"We lied to you."

It was like my whole world stopped before me. I looked at her intently to see if she was fooling me. But she kept the same hard gaze.

My hand limped against hers. "What?"

"We lied to you." Repeating it only increased the pain.

"What part?" I managed to ask. I should have been prepared for this. But it still hurt me nonetheless.

"The part about me."

_

* * *

The part about me…_

No freaking way.

Why that part?

My head was clouded with emotion. There was anger there. Surely, I was angry at the two of them for feeding me lies. I was angry at myself for believing them.

Fear.

So what's the truth?

Who was Sakura in my life?

I was in Naruto's room before I knew it. He was taken aback by my sudden and forceful entrance. "What's the matter---" I grabbed him by his collar, his face inches to mine. "What are you doing, bastard?"

"Are you hiding something from me?" I looked into his eyes. I glared at him. But I could not find something. He remained shock at my sudden outburst.

"Who told you that?" Then his eyes changed emotion. They showed a hint of worry. Then fear.

"Answer me." I almost spat out the words. I was not breaking stare. I had never been this angry.

"And if I am?"

I tightened my grip on his collar. It was firm and rough against my shaking hands. But I did not care. "Stop messing my life." I hissed.

He sneered. "I'm not messing your life. Trust me, Sasuke. I'm not." He gently

tried to remove my hands on his clothes. I wanted to believe him. But I could not. I did not know the truth anymore.

I threw him down on the bed. He landed with a thud. "Yeah." I answered. "I don't

even have a life to begin with. All these months, I thought you were helping me remember."

I looked at him incredulously. "But you were helping me forget."

There was dead silence between us. I was looking at him, my fists turned into balls. He was staring at me like I was some madman.

He rolled his eyes upward. "So you knew." His almost uncaring attitude pissed me more.

"So you admit." I could not hide the acid in my voice. I wanted to punch him then and there.

"Guilty of charge." He lied down on his bed, his arms stretched horizontally on his sides. His blank disposition irked me. But it also calmed me in a way.

"What were you hiding from me?"

"The whole core of your existence."

"Who was Sakura in my life then?"

There was a brief pause.

"Someone you barely knew."

I sat at the foot of his bed. I was ready to talk things over. "What do you mean?"

He talked without facing me. He continued to stare up at the ceiling. "Sakura was the only part we lied about. Basically, everything is true. But that part is the biggest part in your life."

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

"Because the truth would only hurt you more. It would bring back the pain that we were avoiding you to feel again." He finally looked at me. His blue eyes were only full of concern. I could not be angry with this person. "I may not know how you really feel. But it sucks enough that you could not remember us. It would suck more if you have to remember the painful things first."

"We are trying, Sakura and I, to give you a new lease on life. A chance to start over and leave the past behind. We promised ourselves that we would not let you feel the pain again. You almost killed yourself, dammit!" He sat up from his reclining position so he could face me entirely.

From his words, I was beginning to feel more fear.

"Can you tell me the truth now?"

"You already know the truth."

My face was unreadable. "What truth?"

"You were about to propose to the love of your life when she told you she didn't love you anymore. You went berserk, crashed your car into another vehicle and ended up in the hospital with no memories whatsoever."

I recognized the story. Sakura had told me parts of this before. It was not big of a lie after all. "So? Where's the lie in it?"

He looked at me apprehensively. "You never loved Sakura."

His words struck me like hell. I felt my whole body tensed. If Sakura was not the girl I proposed to, then who? As if he was able to read my mind, Naruto answered me.

"Yamanaka Ino."

**

* * *

Chapter 10: (PREVIEW)**

It was like a hint of goodbye.

"I was selfish. I told you I love you so I can hear it back. I wanted you to not remember her anymore. I wanted to be your wife, not a bridesmaid in your wedding. When you lose all your memories, I thought that this was my chance to make you realize that it was me all along that you wanted. That you loved."

"Sakura…"

"No, Sasuke. Let me finish first. I was glad when Naruto asked me to pretend to be Ino for you. I knew that it was wrong but it felt so right for me then. I promised myself that I would never, ever tell you the truth even if it hurt you so much already. That was how selfish I had become for you. But it was too much for me. If I really love you, then I should let go of you right?" She knelt in front of me and broke down entirely. Her shoulders were shaking with grief. I reached out to touch her but she slapped my hand away.

"I do not deserve your love. Then and now. And as usual, I lost again. To my best friend. Even if you do not remember her anymore, she still wins over me. It's unfair. I was the one who was beside you these 9 months, and yet, it is still her image and memory that haunts you when you sleep. It's not fair. I love you more than she does. It's not fair. It's not fair."

I placed my hand under her chin and forced her to look at me. "Look at me Sakura. Tell me, are you willing to marry me even though I don't love you enough?"

I knew it was already goodbye.

"No."

**

* * *

CHAPTER 10: **I Love You, Goodbye


	10. I Love You, Goodbye

**BITTERSWEET**

_

* * *

I was gripping the steering wheel too hard. My knuckles were white against the leather. I could not calm down. I did not want to calm down. I inserted the key and the engine revved into life. I pulled the clutch hard. Forcefully._

_It was already close to midnight. I could not see the road anymore. But I did not fucking care. The city has this speeding limit. But everything did not matter to me anymore. I was mad. I was angry. I was broken. I was dead._

_My phone was ringing in the pocket of my jeans. I drowned out all the sound. I could not focus anymore. The ringing continued. With my right hand, I fished out the phone from my jeans and threw it against the windshield. It created a crack. It stopped ringing. _

_I punched the steering wheel. Too hard. I punched it again. "FUCK!" I did not care about the physical pain. I was hurting a lot more inside._

"_I don't love you anymore."_

_I closed my eyes tightly. No, no. Everything did not happen. Tomorrow, I'll go to her house. We'll sort things out. Yeah, that's a good idea. Then, I'll kneel in front of her and propose. _

_I opened my eyes a little and glanced at the little red box on the other seat. It was supposed to be an engagement ring. I already planned everything. At midnight, I'll be proposing to her and asking her to be mine forever. But I did not even have the chance to do it._

_What happened?_

_Ino, what happened?_

_Tell me so I could fix things up. Even if I have to start all over again. Even if you tell me to wait for another 5 years, 10 years even. I'll wait. But if things will stay the way they are now, I supposed it's better to die than live without you after all._

_I looked at the road in front of me. It was a little dark to see what's ahead. But I was sure that it was a 10-wheeler truck on the other lane. _

_I did what felt right for me. If I will be living without her, then it's better not to live at all. _

_I closed my eyes. I could hear the truck's honk._

"_I don't love you anymore."_

_I love you Ino. I always will. I always have. _

**

* * *

CHAPTER 10: I Love You, Goodbye**

Everything stopped for me. That moment, I was too confused to speak, much less move. After 9 months of secrecy and lies, I have finally learned the truth. Who I really was, who I really loved.

Surprise was the first thing that came to me. Shock. I was so stupid in believing all those lies from the start. I was that weak and vulnerable. If I had not lost my memories, everything would have been fine.

I would be broken-hearted, like what I was supposed to have been. But I would not be broken like this.

Then anger took over. Anger at Naruto and Sakura for hiding the truth from me. Anger at everyone for playing along. I felt like I was manipulated. I could not stop my hands from shaking. I was inhaling deep but fast breaths.

"Why did you hide everything from me?" I was surprised by the hard calmness in my voice. It helped me suppress the emotions I was feeling right now.

Naruto looked at me seriously. "It was for your own good." My patience was decreasing by the minute. "For my own good?" I stared at him disbelievingly. "Who are you to decide what's good for me?" I was practically shouting now.

Naruto matched the tone of my voice. "Tell me, Sasuke. What would you have done if we tell you the truth firsthand?"

The impact of the question hit me. I did not know what or how to answer. He took advantage of my temporary silence. "We hid everything from you because we wanted you to start a new life without the burden. We wanted you to move on and forget everything that could hinder you." His voice became gentler now. "We only wanted you to be able to move on."

I looked down. He was right. I did not want to admit it. I did not want to look at him. "I can move on even without your help."

He chuckled without humor. I was taken aback by his reaction. "Sasuke. Don't kid yourself. You can not move on. You tried to kill yourself when Ino dumped you. You can't live without her." I clenched my fist.

"Still…" My resolve was still there. I did not want to admit that they were right. I was still mad at them for lying to me.

"Honestly," Naruto continued. He sat down on the bed again. He spoke, but he was not looking at me. "I did not know what to do with you then. I was already sleeping when your sister called me. She said that you were in a car accident. Your car crashed with a ten-wheeler. My first instinct was to ask if Ino was with you. Imagine my shock when your sister said that you were alone in the car. Right there, I already realized something happened."

When he finally looked at me, his eyes were sad. At the same time, I knew he was telling the truth. My anger slowly disappeared.

"I went to the hospital and found your whole family there. Your mother was already in hysterics. Your father was talking on the phone, probably trying to keep this a secret from the media. You were in the emergency room and the driver of the truck that collided with your car was there. I almost killed that poor man. I almost strangled him to death. He had bruises and wounds all over but I still did not care. I was shouting 'Do you want me to sue you? You will be spending the rest of your life locked in a jail.' The driver was silent against all the curses I gave him. Beside me, your sister was already crying. I must have scared her." Naruto smiled apologetically at me. I could see his eyes glistening.

"Then, the driver finally spoke. He saw that I was already crying. I could not be angry at him anymore. He was crying too. In between sobs, he managed to speak. He said sorry over and over. His sorry was useless. It would not change anything, incase something happens to you. Then, he mentioned something about you purposely driving on the wrong lane. I punched him smack in the face when I heard that. Your sister had to hug me around my waist just to restrain me. Your mother already approached us and screamed that you have no reason whatsoever to commit suicide. It was a mess. That night. I was trying to kill the driver. Your sister was crying. Your mother was shouting hysterically. You should have seen us that night. I swear, it was a bestseller."

I could not read his expression anymore. He wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his gown and continued with his story.

"Your father already interfered. He asked me and your mom to calm down. He faced the driver and asked if he was telling the truth. He meant business. He even joked 'If I learn that you are lying to me, I will make sure that your head will be chopped off the very next day.' I thought that the driver will finally admit to lying. But he stuck with the same story. He said that suddenly, you changed lanes. He kept on honking at you but you were not responding. He had no choice but to swerve himself. But it was too late. The side of his truck collided with your car. You received the whole impact of the collision. And he brought you to the hospital."

I could vividly remember that first day. When I finally woke up and I realized I do not remember anything at all. It was the most confusing day of my life. "But," I asked Naruto. "How did you know that he was telling the truth?"

"I did not believe it at first." He replied. "He could be inventing a story so that he would be free of all legal charges. I knew that you were about to propose that night. I called the person I thought would be with you that night."

"Yamanaka Ino." I familiarized myself with the sound of her name. But still, it did not appeal to me.

"Yeah. But I guess it was a mistake to call her. She picked up at the second ring. Her voice sounded hoarse and unstable when she said hello. She was surprised that I called her that late at night. I asked her if she was with you. It took a while before she answered no. I was confused. My heart was beating wildly against my chest. I knew the feeling of dreading something. I said, 'I thought you were together. I knew you were together.' But then, she cut me off. 'I'm sorry Naruto but we're no longer together. I would owe you a lot if you help Sasuke move on and forget about me. I also would like you not to contact me anymore' I was too stunned to speak. After a second, it was only buzzing that I heard on her side." Naruto chuckled again. This time, it was full of sarcasm.

"Can you imagine that? All the pieces suddenly fell into place. Your whole family was looking

at me, waiting for the confirmation. I just slowly nodded to them. Your mother cried again.

But that time, I was looking for something else. I went to the nurse in-charge of your things.

And I found it. The little red box. I opened it with shaking hands. And I saw the ring there. The engagement ring. You were supposed to give it to her. That night."

There was a long silence after he finished. He was giving me time to think. I could not remember anything. Will I ever remember those?

"You see Sasuke." He breathed easily now. The atmosphere considerably lightened between us. "I was, and still, angry at Ino for doing that. It must be selfish not to listen to her side but I don't care. I don't know how she learned about your accident. But I won't ever let her hurt you again. This is why we hid the truth from you. I don't want you thinking that you can't move on." His eyes were filled with assurance. "Because you can. You just have to forget about her. Don't dwell on the past too much. What's important is today, what you're feeling right now. What you're experiencing right now."

To some extent, there was truth in everything he said. I could understand now why they did that. But still, I felt cheated on. How could I move forward when I don't have enough closure from the past?

Naruto was silent across me. He was looking out the window. I wanted to be alone. The conversation was already finished so I slipped quietly out the room.

The corridors of the hospital were still exactly as I had known them. Long stretches of bare walls that seemed to take me in. I could not hear my own footsteps amidst the hospital noise. All I could hear was the continuous breathing of my heart. I walked the familiar way to my room. The hospital seemed a bit lonelier to me than before.

I felt alone and betrayed.

* * *

"_I'm coming in."_

_It was a flower shop. _

_Flowers._

"_Oh Sasuke. What brought you here?"_

_It was a girl._

_With long hair._

"_I brought something for you."_

"_What is it?"_

_Flowers._

"_Pansies? Why pansies?"_

"_You own a flower shop and you don't know why?"_

"_I'm sorry but I sell flowers! I do not study them!"_

_Pansies._

"_They signify remembrance. 'You will forever be on my thoughts.'"_

_She smiled._

"_You're so sweet!"_

"_No, that's what the vendor told me."_

"_Come on! Don't be shy. It's just the two of us here."_

"_Shut up."_

_Pansies._

_They signify remembrance_

_You will forever be on my thoughts._

_Don't forget about me, okay?_

"_Ino."_

"_Hmm?"_

"_I love you."_

_I twirled the strands of her hair around my fingers._

_She smiled._

"_I know. I love you too. Forever and ever."_

_I chuckled._

"_You know, there's no forever."_

_She smiled again._

"_Then, until my heart stops beating. Or until your brain forces you to forget about me."_

_It was my turn to smile._

"_As long as the pansies are still here, whether they wither or shrivel, I will never forget about you."_

It was a dream. I was already awake but I still did not bother to open my eyes. It was the same dream that first haunted me. But now, it was complete. Like my memories were slowly falling into place. It was the same flower shop I went to a few months ago. That was why the name 'Yamanaka' sounded familiar. Beside that, nothing else.

I opened my eyes and shifted my position to the right. I knew I felt something when I first saw Ino. The beautiful girl with the long blonde hair. I felt hypnotized. That was the girl I almost gave my life for. Back then, I never knew it. Now, I feel like I have an obligation to be with her. I have to continue this life with her. We will talk. I will go to her. We will sort everything out.

But Sakura.

I felt something else with her. It was the day I was still confused as to who I really was. She came and assured me that everything would turn out fine in the end. Yet, she told me all those lies. But then, those lies meant the whole life for me. I felt I needed to love her. I still feel it now. I promised her marriage the moment I have regained back all my memories.

Sakura, who were you in my life?

I knew I needed the answer soon.

* * *

Tsunade-sama did not look up from what she was doing when I barged into her office. It was fine this way. I was not ready for questions anyway.

"Can I go out?"

"Now?" She replied in her usual voice. "Yes." She must have felt the urgency in mine. She finally looked up and was taken aback to see me in casual clothes.

"What could I do?" she shrugged. She went back to her work.

"Can I have your address?" The question astounded her. She raised an eyebrow at me.

I sighed. "I need to talk to Sakura."

* * *

t was already dark when I went out. The house was only a few meters away from the hospital so I did not have a hard time finding it. I knocked on the door. After a few seconds, I heard a voice. "Who is it?"

There was a shuffling sound before Sakura's face greeted me. It seemed like my visit surprised her.

"Can I come in?"

* * *

The house, although small, was cozy. It was a good breather from the usual environment that greets me every day. This was only the second time I was outside of the hospital. At least, I felt comfortable and secured here.

"Do you…do you want something to drink? Juice? Tea? Coffee? Or perhaps just water?" Sakura was fidgeting with the hem of her blouse. I declined the offer. She seemed nervous because of my presence.

"Or some snacks? Cookies? I think there's still some in the fridge." She made a move going to the kitchen. I quickly stood up and held her at the arm, completely stopping her to move any further. She looked at me apprehensively. "I don't want anything. Don't bother."

I sighed. "Please. Just sit down." I released her from my grip. "I want to talk to you." I motioned her to sit down across me. And she did. I sat down also.

"What, what do you want from me, Sasuke?" We were sitting parallel to each other. She was waiting patiently for me to speak. It's going to be hard to talk to her like this. But I decided anyway.

"I already know the truth." I could see that her eyes widened and she turned a little pale. I could not stop talking now. "Naruto told me the whole truth. Everything, about the accident. And…" I swallowed before continuing. "The lies you told me."

I saw her visibly tensed. Her hands were shaking on her lap. She looked like she was going to cry. "What…" She was trying to keep her voice stable and calm. "What did he tell you?"

"The accident. That I tried to kill myself because we, Ino and I, broke up." Her face hardened at the mere mention of Ino's name. Meanwhile, I was not used to saying her name.

"And?" She prodded on. Her face was blank and impassive.

"You both decided to tell me lies so that I could move on and forget about her. Basically, just that. You pretended to be my fiancée so that I could start a new life without going back to what had happened in the past." I tried to read her face but it still showed no emotion.

"I did not regret what I did." Her lips were quivering when she spoke. "I did not regret pretending to be your fiancée. These few months that I spent with you were the best months of my life." She made a gentler face like she was remembering something. She smiled one of her smiles again.

For a moment there, I was glad Sakura was back to her normal, cheery self. I was tired of seeing her cry and sad because of me. Because what I was saying were hurting her.

But still, I needed to clear things up. I asked her the question that first came to my mind. The question that was bugging me since earlier.

"Who were you in my life?"

She froze. Both of us were not expecting the question. I seemed harsh. I think I went too far. But it was too late to take it back now.

"W---what?" She confirmed my question.

I repeated it. "Who are you in my life? If Ino was my real fiancée then who are you?" I knew she was hurt by my question. Seconds later, she was near to tears again. I regretted asking it. Damn. I couldn't bear it when she cries. "Look, Sakura. I'm sorry. If you don't want to answer then---"

"It's okay. I always cry like this. It's okay." She rubbed her eyes with her bare hands. I wanted to reach out to her and be the one to wipe her tears away.

"It just hurts to be confronted by reality. I was not important to you. I never became. Ever since we met on that bus stop years ago, I did not stop in loving you. But you love someone else."

I looked sideways. Both Naruto and Sakura told me the truth today. But it was harder with Sakura. I felt like I was the one who had caused her all this pain.

"Ino was my best friend. Since high school, we practically grew up together. She was like the sister I never had. You could just imagine how inseparable we were. Since the two of us were so close, you even said once that you're becoming jealous of me already." She smiled remorsefully. "I'll never forget that day. I cried the whole night after."

"Did I…Did I realize your…uhm…feelings for me?" Shit. It was the hardest thing to say.

"Mmm." She shook her head. "I was coward enough to tell you directly. I figured that it was just a phase I was going through. I tried to find other guys but I always keep coming back to you. Even though I knew I had no one to come back to. You were hers. I could not get you from her." She could not stop the tears entirely. She was crying again.

No matter how I look away, I could still hear her sobs and cries. We were happy when I had not known the truth. I wanted to go back to the way things were. But I also knew that things will never be the same again.

"I told Ino my feelings for you. I was angry that time. I felt like she was being a hypocrite for asking for forgiveness. Damn it. It was not her fault! It was not her fault that you chose her over me. It was not her fault for being the better girl. Days after our confrontation, you proposed to her. The night of your accident. The night that you broke up. I was unbelievably happy. I saw my chance. I could not believe myself that I'm telling you all these." She stood up, her shoulders slumped. She was looking at her feet. It was like she could not look me in the eye. She covered her face with her hands.

"Sakura, look at me."

"No."

It was like a hint of goodbye.

"I was selfish. I told you I love you so I can hear it back. I wanted you to forget her. I wanted to be your wife, not a bridesmaid in your wedding. When I learned that you lost all your memories, I thought that this was my chance to make you realize that it was me that you wanted all along. That you loved."

"Sakura…"

"No, Sasuke. Let me finish first. I was glad when Naruto asked me to pretend to be Ino for you. I knew that it was wrong but it felt so right for me then. I promised myself that I would never, ever tell you the truth even if it hurts you so much already. That was how selfish I had become for you. But it was too much for me. If I really love you, then I should let go of you right? I had only realized it now. When everything just seemed too broken already to fix up." She knelt in front of me and broke down entirely. Her shoulders were shaking with grief. I reached out to touch her but she slapped my hand away.

"I do not deserve your love. Then and now. And as usual, I lost again. To my best friend. Even if you do not remember her anymore, she still wins over me. It's unfair. I was the one beside you these 9 months, and yet, it's still her image and memory that haunts you when you sleep. It's not fair. I love you more than she does. It's not fair. It's not fair."

I could not bear seeing her like this. I did the only thing that I could do even though it was hard on me entirely. I placed my hand under her chin and forced her to look at me. "Look at me Sakura." Her eyes were glistening with tears. "Tell me, are you willing to marry me even though I don't love you enough? Even though you know that it should have been someone else?"

I knew it was already goodbye.

"No."

"Sasuke."

Please, don't say goodbye.

"Go back to Ino. She's the one you should remember. She's the one you should marry. She's the one you love. I'll fix everything. I can help you get back your memories of her. Please forget everything that had happened between us. Forget your promise. You don't really love me. I just happened to be by your side when you needed someone the most."

She released herself from me. She slowly stood up and turned her back on me. "Please go now. You must go back to the hospital. They must be worried about you now."

I did what she told me to. Before I left, I saw that she was fighting back the tears. The air was chilly outside. I remembered what she said. She was right. She was also wrong. Either way, I already knew what this means.

I needed to talk to this Yamanaka Ino.

"_Then, until my heart stops beating. Or until your brain forces you to forget about me."_

I don't know what I feel about Sakura. Though I'm sure about one thing. I want her in my life right now.

"_As long as the pansies are still here, whether they wither or shrivel, I will never forget about you."_

**

* * *

CHAPTER 11: (PREVIEW)**

"The baby's our child, Sasuke. He's already two months old." She held the baby so gently in her arms.

I stared at her unbelievably. I could feel the corners of my mouth twitch. "What?" They never said I had a child! I'm not even a married man yet! Was this the kind of life I had?

"Oh yes Sasuke. Before you go running with some girl there, you first need to assume responsibility over this child. The poor fellow. He would grow up without a father."

I panicked inside. I did not know what to do. I'm supposed I need to marry her first? I looked at the baby. He's not mine. He doesn't look like me. But how could I know? "That's not fair. I couldn't remember anything!" I blurted out.

I was surprised when she suddenly laughed. She threw her head back, her hair cascading down. She was laughing at my reaction while I scoffed. "Ha-ha. You did not change even a bit, Sasuke. This child's not yours. We don't have children." She smiled gleefully. She continued to cuddle the child in her arms.

I decided to get back at her. "So, you mean we never did it?" She looked at me confused. "What do you mean?"

"We never had sex?"

Her face turned very red from the embarrassment and she looked away. "W---what k—kind of a question is that?'" It was my turn to laugh. It was the first true laugh I had these few days. She glared at me from across the table. "Very funny, Uchiha."

So this is Yamanaka Ino. I placed my elbows on my knees and stared at her intently. She is very beautiful. This is the girl I had loved for almost 8 years. This is the same girl that I had wanted to be my wife and had almost given my life for.

And now, I'm back to her.

**

* * *

CHAPTER 11: MEMORIES**


	11. Memories

**BITTERSWEET**

_It was raining hard that day. _

_I was waiting for Ino at the bus stop. She was having a meeting with the rest of the student council officers. I'd expected rain to fall this afternoon. That's why I've brought my umbrella with me._

_The third bus came and the people around me boarded it. I was the only one left on the pavement. I looked at the time. The meeting should have ended by now. I tapped impatiently on the ground. Ino, please hurry up!  
_

_Just then, a handsome boy appeared by my side. I stared at him from head to toe. He was soaking wet, his uniform clung tightly to his body. His dripping, spiky hair covered his face. Though wet, I recognized his uniform. He was from the prestigious school outside town. Why was he here?_

_Was he stupid? He didn't seem to care about the rain. He just stared straight ahead with a smug look on his face. He was handsome but scary. I wanted to share my umbrella with him, but I was afraid that he might just ignore me. I bit my lip. _

"_You…" He suddenly spoke. I almost jumped out of surprise. Was he talking to me? _

"_Can I share your umbrella?" My eyes widened at the recognition. I couldn't speak so I just nodded slowly. He offered to hold it for both of us. I was afraid to stand close to him so I edged a little to the right. I breathed slowly. I didn't know why I was feeling so nervous._

_Ino, please hurry up!_

_We were strangers in the rain: sharing the same umbrella, both waiting for something yet not talking to each other. The atmosphere felt awkward so I decided to talk to him._

"_You know, it's going to rain. Why didn't you bring an umbrella?" His face remained impassive, like he hadn't heard me. I waited for his response but none came. I scoffed. His good looks were a total contradiction to his rotten attitude. If it isn't for my good character, I will leave him standing in the rain._

_We were silent again for a few minutes. I could already see the fourth bus coming around the corner. To my surprise, he spoke. _

_It was the reply I'd been waiting for a few minutes now._

"_If I had brought my umbrella, would you have talked to me?"_

_The doors of the bus opened and he climbed in after giving me back my umbrella. He gave a small wave before the bus started to move away._

_I felt my heart beat faster than it should be. It was cold but I could feel some heat from my body. What is this feeling?_

_Just then, Ino greeted me from behind. She closed her own umbrella and asked me if we could just share one. "Sorry for being so late. Were you bored?" _

_I gently shook my head. I looked at her and smiled, despite myself. "No." Instead, I thanked her. "For what?" She asked confused._

_I shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing, really."_

_That was my first memory of him._

**CHAPTER 11: Memories**

The sun was already shining outside my window, its rays running playfully at the corners of my room. I could already hear the usual noise of the hospital. In a typical Saturday like this, I should have already attended my morning exercises. But today, I didn't want to get up. My body was alert and ready but my mind wasn't.

I could still plainly remember the events that happened the previous days. In just a matter of time, my life was completely turned upside-down. But I still couldn't remember anything. I had no choice but believe what the people around me were saying.

My family.

Tsunade-sensei.

Naruto.

Sakura.

My heart hurts. Even the mere thought of her makes my heart ache.

I clutched my chest, my fingers feeling the roughness of the hospital gown. I suddenly wanted to see her, to touch her, even just talk to her. But I couldn't. I know I shouldn't.

Instead, I needed to see someone else.

I bolted upright.

* * *

"You're here again?" Tsunade-sama gave me an impatient look. Piles of paper were messily strewn on her table. It seemed she had many things to do today and that it was a bad time for me to casually stroll in like this at her.

"What?" She asked again when I was not speaking. She raised her eyebrow so high. "You have a business with me? You know, this is a bad time for you to casually stroll in like this at me when I have so many things to do."

I flinched. See. "I wanted to ask your permission if I can go out."

"Again?" She was very irritated now. This was the first time that she lost her composure in front of me. I nodded, trying not to smile. But inside, I was satisfied and glad.

She sighed. "You're regaining your memories slowly. Go out and recall the rest." She shrugged and turned back to her paper works. "Tomorrow, I'll schedule all your rehab sessions the whole day." She became silent all of a sudden. Her concentration was now focused entirely on her work.

I smiled, though I knew she won't see it. "Thank you." I muttered. I was out of the room in an instant.

* * *

The only problem now was how to get to her house. I could vaguely remember the exact location, let alone the way. I overlooked this part.

I looked around. I also didn't have money with me since it was not needed inside the hospital. I sighed.

I saw an elderly woman walking on the late opposite mine. She was holding 3 or 4 plastic bags with both hands. I could feel a tiny smile coming from me.

"Thank you. It was very kind of you to help me." The old woman gave me a gentle smile. Her house was just around the corner and I helped her carry her bags. We were at the front porch and she called her son to carry the bags inside.

I shook my head. "It's fine."

The lady continued to smile. "You don't know how much help you gave me. My son can only carry the bags from here." She paused. "You look like you are thinking of something. Do you need help?"

I looked sideways. Is it wrong to lie to an old woman? I bit my lip. "Actually…I…I am lost since I am somehow new around here." It wasn't much of a lie, was it? It wasn't my fault that I couldn't remember anything.

She laughed heartily like I told her a joke. She reached out for my hand and squeezed it gently. "I thought so. You looked like a lost sheep. Come, inside." She motioned to her house. "Let's have some tea first then I'll ask my son to point you to wherever you're going. This is my repayment for your kindness."

I was shocked of the old woman's thoughtfulness. I somehow felt guilty for having some hidden motives. I didn't have another way.

* * *

The house was small from the inside. There was a single wooden table in the middle with only 4 chairs around it. There was nothing except a cabinet at the far right. The only home décor was a painting beside the cabinet. One of the edges of the frame was hanging off already. But overall, it still looked clean and well-kept. It was a family picture.

The old woman motioned me to sit down. She disappeared into a room, probably the kitchen, to prepare some tea. I looked at the watch Naruto gave me. It said 10:07. It was still early.

Minutes later, the old woman and her son came back with tea and biscuits. The son poured me some tea on a wooden, round cup. The sound of the tea striking the insides of the container was pleasing to the ears. It reminded me to relax.

"Please have some." The woman pointed to the plate of biscuits in front of me. I reluctantly got one with a triangular shape and ate it. It was delicious, completely different from the foods I eat in the hospital. It was a new taste. "It's…delicious." I muttered.

I saw the old woman and the son completely smile. They were both gentle and warm people.

She spoke. "It was my son who did that. He was a baker."

"Was?"

The son nodded. "I was a baker for 20 years. I had to resign when I learned that I was losing my eyesight." I was surprised by this. He seemed perfectly healthy to me.

"I…I'm sorry." I softly said.

He shook his head slowly. "No. It was fine. At least I knew that my baking skills were still fit for a baker." He smiled again. It was genuine, full of sincerity. It somehow made me hot inside.

The old lady broke the silence. "You said you were lost?" Her gentle eyes turned towards me.

I nodded. "Yes."

"Actually I know this city a lot. I can help you if you like." The son offered. "Where will you go?" He asked.

I swallowed before answering. "Yamanaka's Flower Shop." _Her _surname felt a bit foreign to me. I could feel my jaw tightening.

The old woman smiled. "That's easy to find. Even I know that. Are you here to buy flowers for your girlfriend?"

I was taken aback by the question. How does it even feel to have one? "No…not my girlfriend. I want to see my…" Shit. What do I call her? I looked at the man and the elder woman in front of me, their faces expecting.

I clenched my fists. "My fiancée."

* * *

I must have looked suspicious back there. I should know my fiancée's house in the least. I sighed. I knew it; I just forgot.

"Turn left here then straight ahead." I tried to remember the instructions given to me by the son. He said that if ever I get lost, I could ask for directions from someone on the street. The flower shop was famous after all.

It was already 10:45 on my watch. I clutched my chest. Inside me, something was telling me to go back to the hospital. Something was rebelling, stopping me. But I already decided this a long time ago. I could not move on unless I knew the whole truth. And that truth included _her_.

Finally, I began to saw the outline of the flower shop. It was the same as I had remembered from my previous visit here. Paneled glasses adorned the shop. The inside can be seen from where I was standing.

There was a sign at the top of the shop: Yamanaka's Flower Shop.

I entered.

* * *

Racks and racks of different flowers were displayed. Nothing from the interior was changed in anyway since my last visit here. There was a door behind the counter and bells hang atop.

I breathed heavily. I couldn't turn back now.

"Hello?" I called out. Nobody seemed at home. A part of me was glad with this, trying to postpone my meeting with her. But no. I clenched my fists.

I don't want to run away anymore.

Just then, a girl came out from behind the counter. She was the same girl I met from last time. "How may I help you?" She sweetly asked, giving me a smile. She didn't recognize me at all.

"I…I'm looking for someone."

Her eyebrows shot upward. "This is a flower shop. Not the police station." Her voice was thick with sarcasm. I wanted to punch her right there.

"I'm looking for Yamanaka Ino." I glared at her. She glared back. "Who are you and what do you want from her?" She interrogated me like I was a criminal.

I sneered at her. "That doesn't concern you anymore."

She gritted her teeth together. I made her angry. And I was fine with that. "If you don't tell me who you are and what you need from her then I'll call security and lock you up in a prison for trespassing!" Her nostrils flared.

I smiled acidly. "This small place has security?"

I could hear her knuckles cracking. She was utterly mad now. And it would be a bad decision to anger her any further.

I put my hands inside my pockets. "Tell her I'm Uchiha Sasuke." That was only what I could say. I didn't want to introduce myself as her.

The girl in front of me froze in her tracks. "No way." She slowly said. "Ino-neechan's ex-fiancée. I thought you were dead!"

I felt my right eye twitch. I wanted to kill her.

* * *

"Here." She handed me a cup of tea. The girl introduced herself as Sacha. She was apparently Ino's little sister. I didn't care. I wanted to strangle her.

I was inside their house. It was small, almost the same as Sakura's. Only cozier and more…homey. But I couldn't see a single plant or flower anywhere. Even plastic ones. Strange.

"You don't have flowers or plants inside your home." I mused out loud. Sacha looked at me like I was crazy. She laughed. "What?" I asked.

She stopped laughing. "Since we own a flower shop, my mom forever banned flowers or plants inside our own home. She said that the ones we sell are enough for her sight. And we were both happy to follow her."

By both, she meant…Ino and her…

"Only Ino-neechan gets to keep one. It's unfair actually, but whatever. It's her only wish." She shrugged and looked away. She was still smiling however. Her hands were kept beside her.

"Only one?" I asked her further. I think I already knew the answer.

"Yeah." She nodded at me. "Pansies. Her favorite."

It was my turn to look away. I knew those flowers. I gave some to her in the past. I could remember that scene. It was always on my dreams.

_They signify remembrance_

_You'll forever be on my thoughts._

_Forever._

_Forever_

_I'll never forget about you._

_Never._

_Never._

"Sacha. Who are you talking to? Do we have some visitor?"

"Yeah!" Sacha answered. "He's looking for you."

"Can you keep him company for a minute? My hands are full with Ryuta---"

I suddenly felt something tugging me. That voice. It was strange. Yet familiar.

I could feel my heart beat fast. This was something that I did not feel when I first saw Sakura.

This was…different.

"Sas…uke?"

* * *

She was sitting in front of me. Sacha already left minutes ago. To give us some privacy. But I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. I needed to start the conversation.

How hard could that be, I wondered.

I shifted my attention to the baby in her arms. Just to start a conversation. "Who's the baby?"

A while ago, she was nervous as I was. But now, she had already regained her calm composure. She rubbed the baby's hair. "He's Ryuta." She looked at me for a moment then she smiled.

"The baby's our child, Sasuke. He's already two months old." She held the baby so gently in her arms.

I stared at her unbelievably. I could feel the corners of my mouth twitch. "What?" They never said I had a child! I'm not even a married man yet!

Was this the kind of life I had?

"Oh yes Sasuke. Before you go running with some girl there, you first need to assume responsibility over this child. The poor fellow. He would grow up without a father." She rubbed the baby's hair again and played with him.

I panicked inside. I did not know what to do. Do I need to marry her first? I looked at the baby. He's not mine. He doesn't look like me. But how could I know? "That's not fair. I couldn't remember anything!" I blurted out.

I was surprised when she suddenly laughed. She threw her head back, her hair cascading down. She was laughing at my reaction while I scoffed. "Ha-ha. You did not change even a bit, Sasuke. This child's not yours. We don't have children." She smiled gleefully. She continued to cuddle the child in her arms.

She was like her sister in every way.

I decided to get back at her. "So, you mean we never did it?" She looked at me confused. "What do you mean?"

"We never had sex?"

Her face turned very red from embarrassment and she looked away. "W---what k—kind of a question is that?'" It was my turn to laugh. It was the first true laugh I had these days. She glared at me from across the table. "Very funny, Uchiha."

So this was Yamanaka Ino. I placed my elbows on my knees and stared at her intently. She was very beautiful. This was the girl I had loved for almost 8 years. This was the same girl that I had wanted to be my wife and had almost given my life for.

And now, I was back to her.

* * *

Ino called Sacha and handed Ryuta to her. When it was just the two of us, she became silent. And then, "What do you know Sasuke?" She suddenly turned serious. She looked at me, her focus not shifting to anywhere but me. I felt uncomfortable.

"What do you mean?"

"I was informed of your accident." Inform? Such a cold word. "By Naruto. He seemed very angry with me." She laughed a little. "So I decided it was best to stay away. Forever. For a long time. I was not sure really." She paused for a while before she continued. "When I met you that day in the hospital when I visited Naruto, I knew I couldn't just stay away from you like that. And I figured I could introduce myself as your friend. Everything depends on what you know by now."

I looked away. So she was planning to lie to me. So everything Naruto told me was the truth. That Ino…rejected my proposal. And that meant…

"Why are you telling all these to me?" I asked her. I tried to keep my voice stable. I didn't know if I succeeded.

She was surprised at my question. I saw her clutched tightly at the edges of the sofa. Her eyes were sad. "Why, really. I don't know it myself."

We were silent after that. Looking everywhere but at each other. I didn't know it would be this hard to start again.

As usual, she was the one who broke the monotony. "Why are you here Sasuke? I supposed you already knew the truth." I nodded.

Ino stood up and faced me, her face fuming in anger. "Then why are you still here? Why did you still visit me?" I was astonished with the sudden change in her voice. She was upset and angry at me for something. Was she mad that I visited her? Was she expecting that I would get mad at her?

Because she rejected my proposal?

"Why really." I imitated what she said earlier. "I supposed I should get mad at you right? For rejecting my proposal?"

She visibly froze. Her lips were shaking. "You remembered?"

I shook my head. "I couldn't remember things like that. To be frank, I didn't have any memory of you."

Her voice came out soft. "Then why?"

I shrugged. "To get to know you again. To see you. I love you right?" I said casually.

Her eyes stared at me unbelievably. Her breath came out in soft heaves. Suddenly, all I could see was her. With a deep sigh, she sat down on the sofa again. The cushion bounced under her weight and she laid her head down. "You're naïve Sasuke."

"Well. I was supposed to marry you."

She closed her eyes. "I know."

"I wanted to get back my memories." I started to lie down too. I looked upwards and saw the white ceiling. Why was I talking freely with her? I was relaxed. And comfortable just being with her. More than with Naruto and Sakura.

"Then go back to that damn hospital." She retorted. She was back to her snappy attitude. I smiled despite myself.

"I couldn't remember anything there. I felt like I needed to do things myself. I needed to know the whole truth so that I could move on."

"Ne…Sasuke. You are melodramatic as usual. Bonking your head didn't change that part of you, huh?"

I snorted. "And you're annoying." I heard her laugh softly.

It was actually fun staying with her like this. If we could just start again, maybe I would be glad to have this new life. With her.

Sakura. My heart hurts at the mere mention of her name. She was important to me. She had been important.

But this was something else.

"Ino." I called her. It was the first time I did since going here.

"Mm?" She responded.

"I wanted to regain my memories of you."

I felt her stood up. "What?"

"I wanted to start again with you."

**

* * *

CHAPTER 12: (PREVIEW)**

"Uchiha Sasuke. I'm proud to say that starting next week, you will be out of this hospital." She gave me her brightest smile. Like she was happy that I would finally be released.

Wait. "I'm released already?" I couldn't believe what she just said.

She nodded. "Your whole program was already complete. The details would be explained to your parents. You would still be taking medications of course." She approached me and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Congratulations. It was a pleasure to know you again, Mr. Uchiha Sasuke."

"But…" I didn't want to go. I had been in this hospital for a year now and I couldn't imagine myself somewhere else. "I hadn't fully regained my memories."

"But you're starting to move on. To walk to that bright future. Remember Sasuke, with or without your memories, you are still the Sasuke that we know, that everyone knows. Notjhing could change that. Now, it's up to you to continue walking forward."

Her eyes were blinding me. I couldn't look straight at her. I was thinking of only one thing.

I was finally free

**CHAPTER 12: THE OTHER HALF**


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